Tights

Tights are going to send me to prison. Their very existence is going to force me into committing a murderous act. Four girls, five schooldays a week, same size, same colour – you get me? Daughter 1 bought her own tights. They have a special name with special features, but unfortunately they look exactly the same as all the other pairs of black tights that hang on the airer like grim reapers, waiting until they are dry enough to create merry hell in our house at 7am every single morning.

Daughter 1 has special tights, daughter 2 likes tights that aren’t too thin nor too thick, daughter 3 likes tights she can do the crouching down test in (?), daughter 4, being last on the heap anyway, is least fussy with tights. But they all look the same!

Under the tights they wear socks. Is this new or did I have my head stuck in the sand during my schooldays. So not only do we have tight war every morning, but occasionally sock war too.

On school day mornings, partner’s hiding place is the shower. He only appears as the girls are disappearing out of the door. He misses out on the wars. I try to ignore the wars.

Within seconds of tights finding a person, they hole. We need a second mortgage for tights in this house….and tampax for that matter. I think you should roll your own, partner says (from the safety of one of his hiding places). Where’s that weapon…

Image result for tights images

I’ve been shortlisted in the Best Writer category for the Mumsnet Blogging Awards! Please vote for me by clicking on the link below – it takes literally a millisecond. Thank you 🙂

http://www.mumsnet.com/events/blogging-awards/2016/best-writer

16 thoughts on “Tights”

  1. This made me laugh. I have boys so fortunately will not have to face this, but I can imagine it’s a nightmare in the morning. I have fond memories of laddering tights at school. Flipping things, then painting clear varnish on them to stop it. Not sure about the socks underneath, I think we did socks on top in the winter, or if you had boots on. Voted too. Xx #fortheloveofBLOG

  2. I Agree ,i feel really sorry for you My Dear , Black Tights should be Banished , Why not support B.o.t.a ..[Black Opaque Tights Amnesty] a campaign to get people to Give up there Black Opaques ,send them in to us for recycle ..in effect ,its a mass culling of Black Opaque Tights of which far too many young women are wearing today ,so far we have managed to cut up and recycle over 600 pairs ,all donated ,old or new . that’s 600 pairs less in the streets of the UK ..More women are opting for Bare legged or Trousers/jeans or Sheer Tan/natural Tights [as they used to be]..The more people who support B.O.T.A the more Black “Grim Reaper” Opaques will be destroyed [recycled]Remember when you walk into a Hosiery department ,all you see are Thick Black Tights , well lets put an end to them once and for all !!

    1. B.O.T.A….well I never! Unfortunately tan just doesn’t cut the mustard with the teens in winter…shame because tan tights cost pittance.

  3. Oh dear lol. Why are girls so fussy with their clothes. And what is the crouch test lol.
    #fortheloveofBLOG

  4. Ahhhh I hadn’t thought of this – at the moment I love tight season but when the twins are wearing ones that look like mine there’ll be trouble then?! Bought a new pair on Friday, wore them y’day and had a similar experience to you – arghhhhhh – bloody ladders! x #fortheloveofBLOG

  5. This made me laugh reading this, I can just imagine the school day mornings in your house. I’ve never heard of socks under tights, I was socks over tights (sometimes). I can’t imagine what your tight washing pile looks like. I should imagine it’s pretty similar to my husband’s black sock wash – nightmare to pair up. Thanks so much for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.