Hush, little spoilt baby

My version of the original lullaby. To be sung in a soft, lilting voice:

Hush, little baby, don’t you move,
Mama’s gonna buy you a soothe ‘n’ groove.

And if that soothe ‘n’ groove don’t sing,
Mama’s gonna buy you matching bedding.

And if you cover Peppa Pig in poo,
Mama’s gonna buy you a bugaboo.

And if that bugaboo is broke,
Mama’s gonna buy you a cashmere coat.

And if that coat isn’t de la mode,
Mama’s gonna buy you matching drawers and wardrobe.

And if that furniture don’t fit,
Mama’s gonna buy you a dog to hit.

And if that doggy tries to bite,
A nice Stokke Highchair will put things right.

And if from that highchair you fall down,
you’ll still be the most spoilt baby in town.