I had a cuppa with my mum today. I didn’t like your blog about thongs, she told me. Get the negative over and done with, mum, I thought. Everyone else did, I said defensively, it went down really well. Anyway, it was based on scientific facts. I know, she replied, it was the extra bits you put in that I didn’t like. Omg, I thought to myself, she liked all the bits about yeast and bacteria, but balked at my humour – I’ll never win her vote.
Last weekend when we met up, it was all about the Guardian: the Guardian says this and the Guardian says that. She got it as a freebie. You seem to like the Guardian, mum, I commented. Well, I won’t be getting it again, she said. Do you know how much it is? Apparently, it is a lot more than the Times, but I wouldn’t have known. I get the Times, but of course I am of the opinion that all papers are full of shit and loaded with their own message. Did you see that programme last night? mum asked. ‘The Truth About Healthy Eating’. Apparently, wine, tea and coffee counts towards your daily water intake, eggs and bacon beat cereal and fruit for breakfast and frying isn’t so bad after all. But hang on a minute! What about all those reports that say that bacon causes Cancer, too much wine will kill you and just the mere mention of the word, ‘fry’, puts nutritionists in to a flat spin? I didn’t see the programme, but I could sense that mum was not in the mood to be crossed.
Fiona Phillips with Dr Gordon McDougall toasting the mantra: oh fuck it, consume what you want moderation and balance
I really have come to the conclusion, that we should all just eat and drink what the hell we want – in moderation. I know damn well that I can lose weight by cutting right down on carbs, because I have had to do it many times before to compete in Taekwon-do. But it’s hard bloody work. It literally takes over your life. It makes you hugely unsociable, as you take your own food to a BBQ or when catching up with a friend for lunch. Yes, I have been there and I had a goal to reach, which gave me the motivation to do it. However, that is unsustainable. Life isn’t simply about the short term and we need to find a way of eating and drinking that is sustainable long term. This is why we like hearing programmes that tell us that eating bacon is ok and drinking wine counts towards your water intake. Because we think: yes, I can sustain this and when someone tells you that a kale smoothie is what you should be having for breakfast, you think: shit, that’s going to bloody kill me every fecking morning.
Have you heard of the term: orthorexia nervosa? I hadn’t, until I read it in the paper last week. Apparently, it entered our dictionaries a year ago and means: an obsession with healthy eating. A new eating disorder has descended. Yes, it is a DISORDER: avoidance diets can cause deficiencies in vitamins and irons. What was once considered to be confined to a Jesus sandal-wearing brigade, has now become mainstream. Instagram is awash with pictures of kale smoothies. Deliciously Ella is like marmite – you either love or hate the brand it has become. Lots of people love it: their website alone gets 5m hits a month. Healthy eating has, as the article I was reading points out, become a status symbol… but boy, can it judge…and crikey, can it lie: confessions of a food blogger, Besma Whayeb, on the pictures that she posts, for example:
You know what I think: moderation and balance…oh how those two words have a beautiful ring to them. Mainly because they are not screaming at you: DON’T!!! they are shouting at you: DO!!!
Ps don’t be a slave to moderation…the occasional blow out is good for the soul. No-one should be judging you except you and don’t be too harsh.
Oh, and if you’re still not convinced, I’ll leave you with this:
