Baby Sitting

Those of you with babies, either your own or those you care for from time to time, hands up who would like to go to the theatre. I’ll babysit for you. Take your other half, make an evening of it. Pre-theatre drinkies then off to take in a show. The show is called: Come Look at the Baby. So while I’m babysitting, you will be watching a baby…who is erm, sitting.

imageObviously my babies would be cute to watch…

This is one of the shows on offer at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival this year. Apparently, rehearsals are going well and the six month old is, “chilled” and “calm”. They’ve drugged him/her (we don’t know which yet – oooh the suspense). They must have given that baby drugs, because if you put a sprog on a stage, there is no way on god’s earth that it is going to just sit there. Besides – you’ve paid your money * you want a show and a baby has a limited repertoire. Perhaps a complete meltdown would liven things up a bit, because I shouldn’t think it’ll get up and twerk.

I admit that babies can be gorgeous, but as we all know, (but may not admit), the cutest, funniest most beautiful babies are our own. All other babies get a cursory glance and a coo and move on. We also know that babies are smelly, noisy, unpredictable little monkeys, who have the ability to wind parents up to the point where they are screaming at each other: I JUST WANT A NIGHT OFF FROM THIS SHIT!

So, I’m guessing that you won’t be taking me up on my offer of babysitting to see this show? I mean, why would you? In fact, I’m really intrigued to know who WILL be going to see it. Actually, the show that I really would like to see is: The Book of Mormon. Apparently it’s full of great music and sex. A critic called it, ‘slick and smutty’. NOW you’re talking! My friend has seen it three times. Book the babysitter, I’m off!

∗ I should just mention that all profits from the show are going to Unicef and Save the Children. So even if when it’s boring as hell, it’s still going to a good cause.

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