You’ve booked the babysitter! You and hubby decided to go on your first night out in two and a half years, after you both got a bit tipsy on wine, the evening the baby slept through. Since then and since booking the babysitter, the baby has screamed incessantly from 7-9 every night. You are understandably nervous. You broach the subject tentatively with your husband. You know what he is going to say.
“But this is exactly why we need to go out” he says, predictably.
You remonstrate with him, cautiously. He already has jealousy issues with baby two and you know that you are walking a tightrope.
“I know, hun, but I just don’t think I’ll we’ll enjoy ourselves, if we know the baby isn’t settled.”
Hubby is pulling that angry/disgruntled face. It reminds you of the face the baby pulls when he’s constipated. But you know that he’s got a point. You also know that you really don’t want to go, because in some weird way, it is easier not to. You aren’t that same couple any more: the carefree ones who got to parties late, having fucked like crazy on the kitchen table. The ones who rolled into bed at 4am and had drunken sex that you couldn’t remember the next morning. The ones who lay in until 2 in the afternoon, just because you could. You are the ones who scrape Weetabix off the table and who get up at 4am in a sleep deprived haze.
You give yourself the mental dressing down that your mother or best friend would give you: you mustn’t neglect yourselves. Besides, you chose the babysitter because she is another mum, experienced. You chose her because she’s like you.
She arrives and the baby is screaming. The toddler feels warm. You fuss, hoping for a last minute get out clause. Your skinny jeans feel uncomfortable with your heels. You feel like a traitor to the children.
“Where you going mummy?” toddler asks.
You shoot a look at husband, he’s already gone and the car’s engine is already revving. You shoot a look at the babysitter; she is cradling the baby, who is sleeping.
Beep! Beep! Kisses and cuddles administered, you totter out to your first love.
You talk about the baby and his tears. You talk about how the toddler has been under the weather. You laugh with each other about the time that the toddler…and the time that the baby…
From, ‘How it works’ The Mum A (very funny) Ladybird Book
You return home a little early (an hour), to silence. You smile at your husband and you both know that it will be a while until you do this again.