Just Google It

I’ve gone through five kids, four of those are genetically connected to me and finally, by the fifth, I think I have one who actually likes languages. She even likes Latin, goddammit. In fact this term’s interim report puts Latin top of the pops. ‘Did you learn Latin at school, mum? Because it is an old thing,’ daughter 1 says. ‘I’m completely the wrong side of 40’, I reply, ‘but I’m not a Roman’.

The truth is, despite getting four interim reports every however often we get sent them – I still have no idea what the numbers actually mean and just as I thought I had the hang of it, new school, new number system, no idea. Whenever I show the slightest disappointment in one of the girls’ grades, I’m just met with an exclamation of: ‘Mum! A … is a really good grade’ and I don’t feel that I can check this with anyone, because I was probably told about the grading system at a year 7 induction meeting and have now forgotten. So, I just nod and say ok and cross my fingers behind my back that they are all doing alright. 

Not only does daughter 4 love languages, she is also convinced that dog 2 is Spanish and so only speaks to him in Spanish. Obviously, this is a completely crazy idea, however she is practising her linguistic skills, so I’m going with it. I am ignoring the fact that so far her year 7 Spanish has only covered ‘hello’ and the contents of a pencil case, so I think their conversations are limited. 

Despite my excitement over daughter 4’s linguistic ability and their good grades (so they assure me), I am often surprised at how little they know and I don’t think it’s just them. Google has killed the need to retain anything and just churns out information on a need to know basis. Don’t get me wrong, I love Google, mainly because there is absolutely no room in our house for twenty volumes of the Encyclopaedia Britannica. However, when research is simply an exercise in cut and paste, not a lot extra seems to go in. 

This instantaneous information is also not developing staying power and the art of patience. Which is why I was rather pleased to hear that daughter 4’s friend spent 3 hours translating Adele’s song ‘Hello’ into Latin. Now, that’s what I call patience and commitment. However, she was, of course, using Google translate. Who said Latin’s a dead subject?