A local stylist, Susie Hasler, has written an open letter to the Daily Mail, stating her disgust at the passive aggressive way it uses headlines to put women down and the lasting effects their reporting may be having on women in general, but most worryingly, on girls. It’s insightful and to the point and says it all in a nutshell really:
Don’t get me started on the Daily Mail. All papers feed us bollocks, but the Daily Mail incites us with bollocks. It goads us with its headlines to think the worst of literally everyone and everything. I could go on with my hate of the drivel it produces, but I think you get the gist of my thoughts and you will have your own.
So back to Susie’s letter. One of her surmising thoughts is: basically, we can’t win. This does appear to be about right. Mixed messages abound. Girls grow up, for example, knowing they have a set of assets that get them attention. They want attention and so, understandably they show them off. As parents we tell them to show a little modesty – we know where misplaced attention can lead. But what message are we giving them about their bodies? Their bodies, their choice how they dress? When does appropriate become inappropriate? It’s a mine field for them and it’s a mine field for parents. With the huge impact of social media, girls are constantly faced with what is portrayed as: their competition, because it is all about getting ‘likes’. It has become the competition with no winners. Remember: we can’t win.
French air hostesses have been told that on flights to Tehran they must wear trousers to respect the rules of the country they are flying to. Rules, including the one which states that women must cover their heads, that anyone who believes in an ounce of freedom of expression, thinks are complete and utter bollocks. It really irks me that woman in certain countries are made to cover themselves up or face prosecution and worse. Why should western civilisation fuel this shit by pandering to it? Surely, women everywhere should be allowed to wear what the hell they like…as long as its not too dowdy or frumpy, or revealing or just not right in someone’s opinion. Confused? Me too. The truth is: we all judge. We are human, we judge.
So what do we tell our daughters about what to wear? What do we say to the mum who has just given birth and who feels fat and crap? What do we tell the girl who is desperate to be ‘liked’ and the celebrity who is adding to that girl’s insecurities?
I tell my daughters that they are beautiful people, just like the mum with that stubborn jelly belly and the girl in the selfie and the celebrity. I teach them the importance or self-worth and I do everything I can to ensure that they have high self-esteem and confidence – with confidence comes personality. Confidence and personality cut through a whole lot of crap and make you a lot less vulnerable to being bothered by how people are judging you. I try to lead by example. There is little more I can say or do, because the goddamn reality is that, basically, we can’t win.