As I put on my thong this morning, I remembered that I read an article last week telling me that thongs are officially ‘out’ and that they suit no-one (harsh – the fashion journalist obviously hasn’t seen my luscious peaches framed in an Anne Summer’s special). Did I heed advice and remove the outmoded item …did I feck. I carried on regardless with post 40 impunity. No longer do I feel the need to adhere to lingerie advice from the experts. The article mentioned, with pictures, the new sort of garment that has replaced the thong and I just wasn’t convinced. You see the thing is, that for all its wrongs, it has many rights. My teenage daughters are repulsed by the idea of sporting one, let alone their mother displaying her butt cheeks (and I’m not talking public performances, I’m referring to the odd occasion they walk into my bedroom when I am in a state of semi-undress and scream: “that’s disgusting!” as they scarper). However, I am still a thong believer.
Let’s face it, it’s been, ‘dead’ before and replaced by boy pants – I like them too! Please don’t let these also be dead, or my underwear drawer will be a coffin full of decaying pants from a yesteryear.
During my extensive research for this blog (hmm) I came across possibly one of the most yucky articles I have ever read. Even worse than those featured in: breast fed babies’ nappies weekly (no, that doesn’t really exist and yes, I do advocate breast feeding where possible HOWEVER I also remember the nappies…) It was an article published by Cosmopolitan, titled: 13 Times You Should Never Wear a Thong. I clicked on the link innocently enough, thinking it would cover such things as: when wearing low cut jeans and if you have piles, but no. I shan’t link drop, just in case you are reading this whilst eating breakfast, but I will give you an idea of the content by picking out a phrase from each point:
I’ll just start with the intro by Jill Rabin, M.D., professor of obstetrics and gynaecology: ‘the fabric can easily shift between your rectum and vagina…’ Feeling sexy? Read on:
1. ‘avoid icky, uncomfortable outcomes’ The mind boggles…
2. ‘can foster bacteria growth that disrupts your vagina’s healthy balance’ Eurrggh, suddenly mine is itching me…
3. ‘you could sweep up bacteria that rival those in a porta-potty’ I remember those portable potties and having no shame whipping it out in the middle of the pavement, if the toddler so much as intimated at the word, ‘pee’ or ‘poo’, but I digress…
4. ‘bacterial vaginal infections’ not my bag…
5. yeast infection’ been there – doesn’t blow my hair back…
6. ‘if you’re skipping your daily shower’ Never. Couldn’t. Ever…
7. ‘your tampon string rub up against your rectum, then drag it forward to infect your vagina’ too technical for a creative type like me…
8. ‘bad news’ yes, I’m getting that now. In fact, I won’t go on to 13 as it may be unlucky for some of us who rather like them. Well, not any more. Thanks to Dr Rabin I feel that only a thin piece of lace sits between me and nasty infection, possibly death – it wouldn’t read well on my headstone. I shall consult my daughters for suitable alternatives. I did Google alternatives, but it all got a bit: hot girls in thongs and I felt I should keep my browsing history, like my mind and my body, clean.
I never got on with them even as a young thing. I couldn’t get my head round the fact that I wasn’t supposed to be picking the wedgie out of my arse; that it was meant to be there! But if you feel comfortable in them, regardless of what any magazine (who tbh just write things because they need to fill space) or your daughters say, then I’d carry on wearing them!
Yes, thank you. Good advice: vive la thong!
ha ha so funny! wow all that research has put me right off sporting my thong today! Thank you from another post 40 thong wearer – will be looking for alternatives for sure #ablogginggoodtime
Post 40 thong wearers unite! What do the gynaeys know anyway
That’s a load of baloney. I’ve worn them for years with never a moment’s bother or worry
No VPL for Mr Perry!
Pahahah!! Nothing like a bit of lady garden scaremongering by good old Cosmo…
In truth, I am really not a thong fan, but only because I find them uncomfortable and can only liken the sensation of wearing a pair to that of having my foof flossed…
A brilliant read, I’ve shared it on twitter!
Gem.x
#ablogginggoodtime
Thanks Gem, thanks for sharing and I know what you mean about the floss…foof floss does have a lovely ring to it though!
I love them! G string is my thing! In my country its just so nice to wear as its cool. At first it can be uncomfy but then you get use to it, you never go back to any other type! #ablogginggoodtime
Hi Merlinda, where are you from? I agree, they can be nice to wear, although you do get the odd dodgy one that just causes grief!
I used to be a thong wearer in the days when I was trying to bag myself a man… and was 3 sizes smaller. Little did I know the danger I was exposing myself to. They are in the bin and will never return thanks to your warning! TY for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime
It’s great to link up, Catie! They really do seem to be a lethal weapon!
Please advise us of the minimum crotch width to avoid these suicidal problems. Or, is going commando better for health and safety?
As part of my research I came across an alternative to the thong and just a small step up from commando – it may just tick all the boxes to avoid those dark moments. Get Ron to Google it!
Your commitment to research is impeccable!
As a dance, thongs were the expected bottomly attire until one choreographer insisted on Sloggis! Flesh coloured! We were horrified! With no option for arguing we accepted defeat. But, by gum! They were ridiculously comfy and no VPL either!
Nowadays I like to select my undergarments depending on the activity of the day, my mood and what’s left in the undies drawer!
Who would have thought that I would have come across all that useful info?! Flesh coloured sloggis, eh? Sound like a passion killer! I’m with you on the method of undie selection 🙂