I’m finally getting to grips with Twitter. I still understand feck all about it, but I can send a tweet. The etiquette still sounds complicated and my fear is that people take things very personally on Twitter, so if I f##k up, I’m doomed…struck off people’s radar, never to be retweeted again. It’s all really scary stuff for a Twitter virgin. Twit-err? I do feel like a complete twit. Potty training was more straightforward than this. Even the owner of Twitter admitted this week that it is too complicated. Bring out a simplified version, I say. You’d make a mint…well even more of a mint. If I wasn’t such a technophobe, I’d be having a go myself and retirement would be all sewn up.
One thing that I’m realising about Twitter, is that there is no shame. People will tweet the hell out of a blog or a photo, just in case it wasn’t seen the first time, or the second, or the third…and if you did see it all three times, you just want to scream at it: Ok, enough already! Heightened paranoia set in with me, as I leaped on the bandwagon and posted a blog for the second time in 8 hours. I nervously pressed: tweet…and waited for the tweets of wrath to come flooding back at me in a tsunami of rage. Except they didn’t, because the reality is, that no one really cared about it the first time and it just came and went on people’s news feed the second, #werenotbothered (can’t use an apostrophe – goes against everything I have been taught). I like to think that this is because I am yet to build a following and therefore my audience is currently limited. Now is the time to cock up on Twitter, while no-one is there to notice.
In the process of trying to get my head around with Twitter this week, I do feel that I have sold my soul to it – my children have fed themselves and partner would have divorced me, had we been married. I can sum up my Twitter journey this far by hijacking a Madonna classic. Sing along guys (please humour me.)
Like a #virgin
I made it through the Worldwide Web
Somehow I made it #through
Didn’t know what a hashtag was
Until I found you
Somehow I made it #through
Didn’t know what a hashtag was
Until I found you
I must tweet
#incomplete
Only on Facebook and Instagram, I was sad and blue
But Twitter made me feel
Yeah, it made me feel
Shiny and new
#incomplete
Only on Facebook and Instagram, I was sad and blue
But Twitter made me feel
Yeah, it made me feel
Shiny and new
Hoo, Like a #virgin
Retweeted for the very first time
Like a #virgin
Makes my heart beat
When I go on line
Retweeted for the very first time
Like a #virgin
Makes my heart beat
When I go on line
It’s gonna take up loads of time, but
My fear is fading fast
Been sharing and liking for you
‘Cause Twitter love must be passed
My fear is fading fast
Been sharing and liking for you
‘Cause Twitter love must be passed
Hoo, Like a #virgin
Retweeted for the very first time
Like a #virgin
Makes my heart beat
When I go on line
Retweeted for the very first time
Like a #virgin
Makes my heart beat
When I go on line
That’s just being silly