A model was sitting in a sauna in a fitness club and through the door she saw a woman changing at her locker. The model took 2 photos of the poor woman and sent them on Snapchat to her friend, ridiculing her body. The trouble is, her Snapchat was public and so lots of people now know what a nasty, shallow low-life she is.
I’ve written a couple of posts in the past week about body image and I’ve had a lot of comments back. The common theme running through these comments has been that shape and size are far less important than confidence, self esteem, humour, intelligence and kindness. That people try not to get too hung up about their wobbly bits and stretch marks, but rather focus on what their bodies have produced if they are women with children, and celebrating what they are capable of achieving. People commented that we should not be focusing on weight, size or shape, but rather on strength and fitness. We should be taking inspiration from disabled athletes, by seeing what they are achieving and realising that there is no, ‘perfect body’ needed for personal fulfillment. One lady commented that her motto is, ‘my body is built for use, not for decoration’.
Some people admitted that all of the above is easier said than done and it can be difficult not to worry what other people think. When I saw myself in one of those dreadful 3 way mirrors in M&S, I did feel sorry for all the people in Spain who had got that back view last year. We all have our personal benchmarks, but I guess that the important thing is to keep things in perspective. If we are healthy and happy, then not a lot else should really matter. Not forgetting the importance of mental health here too. It shouldn’t be underestimated how much good a workout does for your mental health, whether it’s sweating it out in the gym, or walking the dog.
I came across a post written by Rebecca whose blog is called: Taylor-made-ramblings and I found it to be very poignant. In it she makes the comment: ‘our bodies are keeping us alive, and that it is the only body we have, or ever will have, so we should therefore be respectful and thankful’, but she has only recently come to this conclusion after years of struggling with her self-image. You can read the full post here:
I do wonder though, whether humans have a criticising gene. I don’t mean that we just criticise ourselves, I think that we can be extremely critical of others. Not, of course to the extent that we would take photos of someone and send them to friends with derogatory comments, but be honest here: how often are you watching TV and you comment on someone’s appearance? Reading a magazine and give an opinion on someone’s looks? Inwardly critical of the way your own children look – have you ever worried that they are too fat, or too thin? So when does this human criticising gene become unhealthy? Well, if the comments on social media are anything to go by, then far too frequently. Faceless trolls are all too happy to openly criticise peoples’ appearance on line.
The model has been named and shamed. She has apologised, saying it was a mistake, because she didn’t know that her settings were on public. No honey, you’re so, so wrong. Your mistake was that you took those photos at all.
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Absolutely, she should never have done what she did, publicly or privately. Either way I consider it bullying. I hope it hasn’t put anyone off going to the gym, because as you say, we should celebrate efforts to be fit and healthy rather than body shaming. #marvmondays
I agree that it is bullying. She should be banned from the fitness club – I believe it was LA Fitness. Thank you for commenting.
So true. I think we could all do with a little more respect for ourselves and others. Social media is just so quick and easy to make comments that you definitely wouldn’t make if you were speaking in public – except the social media comments are even more public when you think about it. Now, this reminds me it’s time to get started on a new exercise regime! #fartglitter
Ha! Yes, I thought that as I tried on a bikini yesterday in a shop changing room – new exercise regime! I also thought – imagine how I would feel if someone was taking photos of me right now and sharing them publicly…Thank you for your comments.
Such a well-written post Alison on such an important topic! You are SO right – those photos should NEVER have been taken to begin with. It is so sad that life has become defined by the external. I am certainly guilty of it but I really try to stop and adjust my thinking. Thank you SO much for featuring my post. You have made my week! I feel very privileged. A fantastic article. X
Hi Becca, I’m glad that you liked the post. As I said, yours just compliments it perfectly and I loved your honesty – it is so well written. Thank you for your comments, they are so appreciated. It’s good to link up with you x
What a lovely post, so inspirational…. I must admit, I am guilty of being too conscious of my body as well. I should be more focused on my personality and anything good about myself. We should appreciate who we are and what we have and stop comparing ourselves or our lives with our people and I think that will make us a happy human being. #MarvMondays
Absolutely. Wise words – so difficult to achieve, but worth trying to adhere to. Thank you so much for commenting.
A totally despicable action by someone who should know better – my daughter is in the modelling world and it’s tough but one of the biggest lessons she has been taught by her peers is everyone is different and every fashion/beauty house sees something different/beautiful in everyone – it’s a shame that this model hadn’t learnt that lesson. Mecca’s post was beautiful and I found myself nodding along through it – we should be praising ourselves for what our bodies have achieved and also as women we really should stand together in a sisterhood and support each other. You did make me chuckle about the three way mirror! Another fantastic post, lovely #MarvMondays
Thank you, Helen for your comments. It’s good to hear that your daughter’s experience is positive. We really should all be standing together.
Well-written and I totally agree with you. Bullying is bullying, whether you think it, say it or send it, and it’s always wrong. I think it comes from insecurity. #MarvMondays
Thank you for your comments. I’m sure you are right about it being a sign of insecurity.
You said please come back. I’M HEEEEEERRE! Sorry to all the people in Spain…cracked up! But oh my…that model…she only thought the bad bit was that her settings were on public? Good GRIEF! This reminds me of something I’ve said in my latest post (on #fartglitter too in fact) about the age of stupidity etc but I won’t go into it right now or I’ll just start ranting again. #Fartglitter
Yaaay!! I’m straight off to read your post now 🙂
I saw that in the papers too and I was utterly disgusted, sadly there are many people out there so ready to pounce and rip someone to pieces for not looking perfect (whatever that is!!), what a shallow world we live in! #marvmondays Abby@peppermintcove.com
We really do live in a shallow world! My kids were obsessed with Love Island and I think that just about says it all! We all can get caught up in this shallow culture, but kids are being brought up in it. Thank you for commenting.
I never heard about that. Wow, how boring must she be if that’s the best thing she can think of to put on social media? Ugh. Yes, a slim body doesn’t hide that kind of ugly.
#fartglitter
Brilliantly said. Thank you for commenting.
So true her mistake was taking that photo in the first place, I mean who would do that?? It is such a violation! To be honest that bothers me more than her comments, whatever she can have her opinion, but to violate someone privacy is disgusting! Not all body types are going to appeal to everyone, we are all attracted to different shapes thank goodness, I think we should all celebrate our bodies and enjoy them. #mg
It was such a nasty thing to do. You are right – everyone can have opinions, but to take a photo like that – disgusting behaviour. Thank you for your comments.
What a horrible person, and then to apologise and clearly still not get the mistake she made.. there are seriously no words for people like her. I do think that most of us are immensly self critical, and perhaps even a little critical of others in the spotlight because we think we can be because they put themselves out there (although it doesnt make it right). I do think your view of your body and others changes once you have had children, I find myself in a much more positive place with body image now, although my body is probably the worst shape its been ever! Thanks for sharing this on #MarvMondays. Great post. Emily
Thank you for all your thoughtful comments and thank you for hosting 🙂