THE swimsuit to wear this summer (apparently) is Brazilian inspired aka up yer bum. I asked partner whether he thought this was the appropriate look for me in Spain and he faltered. I took it as an out right ‘no!’ I’m too old. My arse isn’t botoxed or surgically enhanced and besides…it just feels like you’ve got a permanent wedgie.
If the truth be told, I’ve see them on Instagram and I’m not sure I’m convinced. No doubt when the Olympics start in Rio this week, however, the BBC will find some choice shots of Brazilian ladies for their VT’s, beach volleyball perchance, to convince us all that this type of swim suit can, indeed look good. While at the same time I will be chucking things at the telly going: you sexist producer bastards. Show us some cock in lycra!
In fact, there is a whiff of buttocks in the air at the moment, as Channel 4 hosted a games show where contestants got their butts (and knobs) out. Ffs why? Where’s the mystery? C’mon ladies – a guy may have a small penis but be fucking Einstein. Conversely, he could be hung like a friggin’ donkey and be Donald Trump. It’s not all about the dick. They are important, but we can be flexible.
Nudity is in the air. Naked old geezers have been photographed cycling in Kent (of all places) and there is a nude restaurant just opened in Elephant and Castle – the go to place for romance.
Summer is certainly the time for tits and bums to get an airing…not mine you understand, but other people’s. What is acceptable these days? I see so many teenagers flashing their flesh on Instagram for likes. One vague sighting of a daughters’ arse and I’m on it like a car bonnet. Meanwhile they couldn’t give a monkeys. Where are the standards? I haven’t got a bloody clue. Because on the one hand you’ve got the naked octogenarian on his bike and on the other you’ve got teenagers showing off their abs. Abs that have been encouraged by fitness gurus on Facebook. Oh, and their arses – inspired by Brazil and the Olympics…
I would really love the Olympic legacy to read more like this: girls inspired to take up sport after Britain’s successes in the Rio Olympics.
Come on ladies: nail it!
Why would you want a permanent wedgy? Clearly swimsuit fashion is not mt thing. I’m all about big bottoms preferably black #bigpinklink Lifeinthemumslane
Black all the way and covering the arse, hear, hear! Thank you for commenting.
I’m sure you’d never see me in one of those swim suits either, and to be honest I don’t think I would have wore one as a teenager either. I honestly think modesty is far more sexy then getting everything out on display – a man’s top shirt button undone exposing some chest hair is far more sexy then letting everything hang out 🙂 #anythinggoes
Angela x
Totally agree! Less on show is most certainly more in my case 🙂 Thank you for your comments.
Haha, yeah I think it would feel like a permanent wedgie too and it certainly would not be a good look for me! This was a funny read, thanks. #bigpinklink
I think that you need a certain type of bum to rock that look! Thank you for commenting.
Loved the part about Instagram. With two teenage daughters I am the Mary Whitehouse of social media in my house. Some of the pictures I’ve seen of 14 year old girls have shocked me. I am so torn on this issue because I believe that women should have the right to wear whatever they want but I can’t help being worried that they are too young to really understand what they are doing? Oh my God, raising teen daughters is a bloody minefield!! #BigPinkLink
I’m so glad you said that about being torn on the issue – it’s so true! You don’t want to be saying: wear a longer skirt because you’re encouraging unwanted attention, because you want them to be slightly free spirits. However, some of the photos of girls I see makes me want to cry. Thank you for your comments.
Haha, you be spending all your time getting it out of your arse and means no time for ice cream eating, boo for me! X #marvmondays
Haha! Brilliant comment 🙂
Great post! I do wonder why people feel the need to have most of their body parts on show these days! Is it attention seeking? Really quite sad! #marvellousmondays
Abby at http://www.peppermintcove.com
Yes, I think so. If Instagram is anything to go by, it’s all about getting it out there and as much as possible. I guess though, that humans are naturally voyeuristic, so there is a constant audience. Thank you for your comments.
Oh I love the banter in all of the comments to, I agree – it isn’t for me and whilst I’m not hanging up my bikini yet I’d like to be able to find it again for the next holiday #upmybum haha
#MarvMondays
I had to endure the pain of bikini shopping recently. Mine was 8 years old and almost threadbare in Spain last year. The girls were outside the changing room saying: let’s see…I couldn’t bring myself to do the big reveal without being under the influence of sangria!
“…you sexist producer bastards. Show us some cock in lycra!” This made me proper lol and now people at work are giving me strange looks. No one, I repeat no one can be happy with a bikini wedged up their arse plus I’d be too worried about encouraging some sort of fungal infection. #chucklemums
Haha! Yes, a fungal infection would add to the misery of the wedgie and sand up there! Glad I made you laugh 🙂 Thank you for commenting.
They definitely don’t look very comfortable! I’m with you that it would be better for the legacy of the Olympics to be encouraging more girls into sport rather than encouraging them to get their bits out for Instagram likes. #chucklemums
Yes, I really hope that lots of girls are inspired by the games in Rio. It’s too good a opportunity to miss. Move over Instagram…for a few weeks at least! Thank you for commenting.
Mmmm, if I had an arse and a thigh gap like that, I think I’d be tempted to wear one, and I’d take the uncomfortable wedgie hit…! Only because I can’t wear any kind of swimwear anymore, because I’m just one huge cellulitic ruin, and I’d like to show off my body if it looked like that, just for one day…! I’m a bit on the fence with nudity-there was a naked cycle ride in my city recently, and it didn’t really offend me, but I definitely wouldn’t be found cycling around the city with my bits and bobs hanging out!! I’m also glad I’m not a young girl in an Instagram age either-I can’t think how it would’ve dented my already well dented teenage confidence!! I’m all for the demure approach for myself, and I agree that it’d be perfect for today’s females to be more inspired by the athletic success of the Olympians, than the body perfect instagrammers!!
#bigpinklink
That’s true enough – if you’ve got it, flaunt it! But yes, all this flaunting it on Instagram and Snapchat can’t be good for a fragile self esteem. It really does worry me, as a mum of several girls, just how damaging it is. Thank you so much for your comments.
Well they look highly uncomfortable! I don’t get it…but then again I don’t get most things fashion-related!
Thanks for joining #chucklemums
Ha! Me neither. I gave up trying to follow fashion once my girls became teenagers, because there is no way I can compete! Thanks for commenting and co-hosting.
I’m guessing this is going to bring some interesting traffic to your site! I for one don’t want to see cocks in lycra ta ahahaha! #chucklemums
Spoil sport! Yes, yet to check in spam, but judging by the usual crap I get in there…Thanks for hosting 🙂
I couldn’t manage one of those bikinis or cossies, I’d be forever hauling it out of my backside. Must be tempting for teenagers to have one because it’s about the only time when nothing has gone south. It’s probably just a trend and everyone will be wearing 1950s apple picker swimsuits next year! Good point you made about the Olympics and inspiring girls/women into sport! #chucklemums
I did ask my daughters what they thought of that style and they all pulled faces at me! Thank god, because I’m not sure I can cope with 4 arses hanging out for 10 days in Spain this summer! Let’s hope girls are inspired by Rio though – I for one am looking forward to it. Thank you for commenting.
I can’t see this look taking off. The equivalent for men being that AliG look?#MarvMondays
Oh please no – the mankini…euuuuk!!!
Oh dear, I definitely don’t like this trend. Cover them bums up hehe! xx
#MarvMondays
Yes!!!
Ha, ha, this post did half make me chuckle! I ever read it out to the Mr but he didnt laugh with me, must be becuase hes a man lol. Loved your post and completely agree with the more inspirational messages for our young girls and women 🙂 Thanks for sharing this on #MarvMondays. Emily
He obviously doesn’t share our incredible sense of humour, haha! Thank you for commenting and hosting.
AGREED! Inspire our girls to be Mighty Girls, not naked girls only needed, wanted, and cared for due to their lack of clothes. Thanks for bringing this up for all! #bigpinklink
A big YES!! Thank you for commenting.