I’ve read a couple of posts recently from mums who are expressing a certain guilt at feeling bored when they are with their little ones. No shit? I was bored out of my bloody mind half the time. I’ll say the usual mummy disclaimer because we all feel we have to: I loved my babies and toddlers to bits – unconditionally all the time, conditionally some of the time, but by Christ the monotony fucked with my mind.
I was never the craft type. Painting was only ever carried out at grandparents’ houses and playgroups. If Pinterest had of been around when my kids were little, I would have had, ‘failure’ tattooed to my forehead. Yet still, because I had 4 kids under the age of 5, other mums would refer to me as: the earth mother.
Now, I’m not entirely sure what they meant by this. Perhaps that my girls constantly looked as if they needed a good scrub. However, I always thought to myself: I know that I am not an earth mother because although I feel like I’ve got a handle on things some of the time, I get bored. I don’t want to get down on my sodding knees and push a tractor around a plastic farm. I cannot stand the thought of feeding an ugly, plastic baby a bottle and I fall asleep reading them their bedtime stories: it’s so bloody boring!
And it wasn’t just the kids who I found boring – I came across a fair few mums who bored the crap out of me too. Please don’t judge me for saying it – you’ve all thought it. You know, the sort you get stuck with at the toddler group, who bangs on about how advanced her 3 month old is. There’s only so many times you can hear, “he’s already saying ‘Kumon'”, before you want to punch her. You’re desperately looking for a reason to escape, until finally you are so bored you shout: ‘Oh God! She’s just bitten another child’ and rush off to be with your rather bemused 3 year old, who was happily making a plastic cup of tea in the kitchen.
Earth mother I most certainly wasn’t. Bored I most certainly often was. So as I read these posts from these wonderful mothers, who are scared shitless of admitting that they occasionally find life with a 3 year old boring, I thought about how stressful being bored is. Even now when I am bored, I feel stressed.
Boredom is basically the result of a failed effort to engage with our surroundings and the result of this is anxiety. It’s fine if you can use those moments of boredom to daydream and think creatively, but the problem with having a toddler is that there is an incessant invasion of your head space. So you get out your phone as a signal that mummy is not available, so go and play with your sister for 2 minutes – that is why we had her – and then you get some grumpy old fart telling you what a shit parent you are. Unfortunately, the truth is that tablets and smart phones are preventing all of us from getting bored, but they are also curbing our thoughts and potential great ideas, as are our children.
So next time your kids whine at you those wonderful words: I’m bored! Just scream back at them: yeah, well so am I!
Another great read. Glad to hear about another mother who isn’t crafty and not an earth mother!
Oh god no! I am really totally crap at anything crafty. My Harvest boxes consisted of a stork margarine carton stuffed with tins 🙂
Bloody hate it when a letter comes home implying we have to make something. I mean, seriously?!
It was always left to the kids in this house…which meant it always looked pretty shit!
I think fear of being bored always kept me returning to work, now I’d like the chance to be bored, you can never have it all! #BlogggerclubUK
I often think I’d like the chance to be bored…to daydream and to plan…to plan more challenges, so that I never actually get bored! It’s certainly a vicious circle 🙂
Hahaha! I’m defo one of those mums who feels the guilt of feeling bored. It’s a tricky one because in the grand scheme of things there’s nowhere I’d rather be, however, the minutiae and repetition of daily life bores the tits off me!!! Thanks for speaking out so eloquently. The fact you’re an experienced mummy makes a newby like me feel TRILLION times better!!!! #bloggerclubuk
Ah, thank you for your lovely comments x
Haha the truth at last! I could cope with playing dolls etc in small bursts! If I knew I only had to do it for 15 mins I could be extremely enthusiastic and actually enjoyed it. Any longer and I could feel my spirit draining away. Toddlers like repetition and adults generally don’t so there lies a problem!! The problem was removing myself afterwards which inevitably caused a fuss!! I had three kids so that I didn’t have to get too involved in the playing! #BloggerClubUK
I just lose the will far too quickly! My boredom threshold is low (I blame my Dad for that one!) and I found playing with the kids indoors so tedious. Outdoors, however, was another matter. I’d happily romp around with a rugby ball for hours! Probably still do 🙂 x
Good honest post, it can be boring and anther dreadful crafty mum I am awful at them. Now school homework is all making things it’s awful for me #bloggerclubuk
I’d rather do maths!
Oh god, they’re boring aren’t they? There’s only so many times I can read books with very few words and shake the rattle. Thank god for the Jumperoo (my unpaid babysitter) #bloggerclubuk
Thank God for absolutely anything that keeps them quiet 🙂
Yes! I’m so bored!!!! Love this!
#BloggerClubUK
Ha! You are certainly not alone 🙂 Thank you x
I don’t even feel guilty for feeling bored from time to time. Sure my toddler feels the same sometimes. Swings and roundabouts, part of life #bloggersclubuk
Yes, absolutely!
Haha this made me laugh. With four children I don’t have the time to be bored, although I am bored of their whinging and whining that’s for sure! #BloggerClubUK
Yes, it’s like a dripping tap, isn’t it!
I quite like the crafty stuff or baking or going for walks, basically stuff that had a point to it but definitely found ‘playing’ boring, as in ‘playing’ dinosaurs or diggers or dolls. Thankfully they’re old enough to amuse themselves now 🙂 #BloggerClubUK
Yes, I know what you mean…I’m just crap at crafts! I loved getting them out for walks, kicking a ball around etc exactly as you say – where there’s more of a point! (More on my terms than theirs :))
Boredom does have its uses. I don’t think anyone should feel bad for not always feeling engaged with their children. Whilst we love them so much and they can be completely absorbing there are times when they can’t give us what we need like a good adult conversation that is mentally taxing. #brilliantblogposts
Yes, absolutely. We all carry far too much parent guilt around with us! Thank you for your comments.
Aha! You’ve cracked the code. I just need to have more kids so they can play with each other and I can do something fun while they occupy each other. If only it were that simple, eh?! Some days I get so bored being in the house with my two littles (2 under 2) that I actually WANT to take them to a play group. Desperate eh? We can’t be the entertainment committee all the time, we’d go insane. #BloggerClubUK
It’s when you actually WANT to take them to soft play that you know you’ve reached an all time boredom low 🙂
Yes to this, I say this a lot too-baby days can be relentless and boring and the fact women feel they can’t admit to that makes new motherhood in particular even more isolating.
I totally agree. That’s why a friend who is on the same wave length as you is a must when you have young kids – someone you can be honest with. Someone who you can look at and say: isn’t this shit? once in a while.
YES! I am so shouting that next time. Wonder if I can shout it at the husband too 😉 #FridayFrolics
Ha! You can try it and let us know 🙂
Great response to the constant ‘I’m bored’ statement from the kids – love it. Also love your observation that the phone is now a signal that we need SPACE. #ablogginggoodtime x
Thank you 🙂 x
Everything is so busy I would give anything to be bored. And when I do sit down to have time to chill & become bored I get pounced on to do a jigsaw, dress a doll, build something in Lego. This is why we brought the toys in the first place, so they keep you occupied!! Great post. #BloggerClubUK
Ha, exactly! Thank you for your comments.
Ha ha ha loved this. I am really busy so its not often but i do get bored and feel your pain!
thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime
Thank you 🙂
Haha! I’ve always liked small children and I wouldn’t say I’m too high up the quickly bored scale, but even so the repetition can be wearing!
Thanks so much for joining us for #FridayFrolics.
Respect!