It’s very easy as a parent of teens to worry that they are becoming distant. To grieve the absence of obvious love and to miss the spontaneous and unconditional adoration they showed when they were young.
We’re all so hard-wired to instant gratification nowadays. It’s not just our kids who crave it. We want Amazon Prime, Internet speed, Facebook rather than a real book – nearly every single one of us is guilty of wanting things now!
And we also want instant love.
We are desperate for feedback from our teens. Just a sign that they actually love us. A flicker of emotion that shows they really do care.
The trouble is, some things – the teenage brain for example – never change.
With teenagers you need to see it as a long distance race and not a 100 metre sprint to love and respect.
Don’t expect a card on your birthday. Don’t presume that they will even remember your birthday. Gone are the days of the homemade card. Tell them, remind them. Amazon Prime they are not!
They may not laugh at your jokes, they won’t always say goodnight, and for much of the time they will act as if they don’t even want you there.
Stay strong. Be firm.
Remember, it’s a long distance race, not a 100 metre sprint. Set boundaries but be flexible. Listen but don’t fix. Communicate but don’t judge.
Their love is always there and sometime in the future you will know that. Occasionally on your marathon journey together, you will know that.
Sometimes we just have to wait.
