The Beast

I’ve been thinking about the effects of screen time on our kids, particularly teenagers. I was comparing the time I used to spend on the Atari 800 playing some kind of crappy shite for hours on end and kids on their X boxes and Netflix now. When I think of screen use in our house, it all takes place in the teens’ bedrooms. They rarely watch TV with us and I can honestly say they never watch TV on their own downstairs. 

THIS is a big difference between now and then. 

Back then, no one had laptops. If they had a computer it was in the family living space, fought over by everyone. TVs in the bedroom weren’t necessarily the norm. So although we weren’t exactly being sociable when we were glued to the screens, we were accessible. We were physically available and it was totally obvious to our parents what we were doing.

My teens’ screen use is hidden. Not because they are hiding what they are doing (I hope) but because they are in their bedrooms, doors shut. 

As a parent this is disconcerting. It feels as if they are doing something they don’t want us to see. It makes us suspicious, especially when the horror stories are driven home to us all. It disconnects them from us, both physically and mentally. This feels horrible when we were used to being so close. It embroils them with their friends (and you hope it ends there).

As parents we used to be told to have the family computer in a room downstairs. This advice already sounds so old, and yet it was only a few years ago it was being given out at every talk on internet safety. But things have changed.

Things are moving fast. We can’t keep up. Teens need laptops for homework. Kids are asking for phones younger. As parents we let things slip because others are getting phones younger. We give in and the slippery slope gets frighteningly fast and hard to keep a grip on. Once we are on that slope with our kids, it’s almost impossible to stop. Limit screen time? It’s an addiction, so it can’t be done without a fight. Without shouting and tears. It’s their norm. It’s their world. 

Have we got the strength? The knowledge? Have we as parents now lost our grip? And if so, what are the implications?

It worries me. I try to implement boundaries and rules, but to be honest they are hard to keep. I work. I can’t keep a bedroom watch. So I tell myself this:

• Communicate
• Trust
• Keep up with new games and apps as much as possible
• Communicate 
• Talk to other parents
• Implement some boundaries 
• Trust
• Accept that things have changed and that our world isn’t their world
• Communicate 
• Trust

I don’t think we will know the effects of the beast of screens on our teens for a few years. By which time they, like us will no doubt be finding their way through life with its ups and down.

I tell myself that life will adapt to the huge change in screen use and so everyone will adapt with it – yes, even an oldie like me! If our teens are able to navigate it without becoming entrapped in addiction to porn or online gambling, or meeting the wrong sort of folk, then I have little doubt they will turn out just fine. 

Our parents worried. We worry, but worrying is relative to the scale of the problem. As parents now, we know we are dealing with a beast. We know to be concerned, but equally we must know when to trust.