Courtesy

Kids aren’t born polite – the onus is on us parents to teach them. This needs to happen way before they hit pre school, or it’s the teachers who are picking up the pieces. Being polite is so much more than saying, ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, but that’s a start. One of the best ways to teach children how to be polite is by encouraging them to practice it at every opportunity. At the end of our taekwon-do classes, the younger students receive a sticker, as well as certificates for achieving monthly goals. Whenever they receive something in class, they are reminded to say,  ‘thank you.’ It’s easy to feel like a stuck record – the children are excited to be getting something and simply forget to say it. However, it is important that we persevere and keep sticking the same record on repeat. When the children do something for us in class, such as tidy things away, it is equally important that we thank them, as we must lead by example.

Teaching our children how to share and how to take turns is also an important part of courtesy and probably the one that’s the most difficult for ego-centric toddlers to grasp. In our tkd classes, where we do lots of team races, there is ample opportunity for the little students to learn how to take turns with the others. Toddler groups are also the perfect training ground for teaching them to share and they often learn that one the hard way!

Another element of courtesy is apologising if a child hurts someone, even accidentally. Inevitibly, when they are taking part in a physical activity, there will be the odd bump and bash, but these small jostles and knocks provide the perfect opportunity for a child to learn the importance of saying sorry.

Technology gets blamed for a lot of things these days and it is sometimes said that because kids heads are down with their eyes glued to a screen, they are losing the art of courtesy. One of the ways this certainly manifests itself is with the lack of eye contact it can create. I am a stickler for eye contact and when I am talking to my students, my usual phrase is: eyes on me! If a child isn’t looking at me, I don’t know whether they are listening. Eye contact is key to children developing their social skills. When I am talking one to one with a small human being – one who is a lot smaller than me – I will get myself down to their level and encourage them to look me in the eye as we talk.

Finally, but my biggest bug bear: children interrupting when adults or speaking. Actually, my issue is when parents stop their entire conversation to appease the child. In my opinion this should not happen. The child should initially be ignored and when they continue to interrupt, a quick glance at them and a quick, ‘I’m talking to …, just wait’ or something similar. Once I have finished speaking to that person, I get down to the child’s level and tell them that I was talking to somebody, so couldn’t answer them and now it’s their turn. Children need to learn their place in the heirachy – if dogs can do it then so can we! I watch my puppies in the park. They are put in their place by the older and wiser dogs with a quick look and a growl. We can learn a lot from them!