These days I think a great deal about dog poo. I’m pretty sure I spend more time considering dog poo, than I considered my own kids’ poo when I had three in nappies. (Although I do recall when daughter 4 pooed in the bath when all 4 girls were in it, because that was very funny).
Anyway, these days it’s all about the dogs and I was very amused to hear that the first London borough to introduce DNA testing to name and shame dog owners who don’t pick up after their dogs, is Barking!
Partner and I are very anal (sorry) about picking up after dog 1 and dog 2, even when they run straight past the poo bin to the opposite side of the rec, poo where there is no bin and say, ha! Be my poo slave, human.
This morning, dog 1 ran off and pooed. Partner and I dutifully went over to the poo site, only to find three perfect dollops of poo in front of us. Which is his? Partner asked, what I presumed was a rhetorical question. You’ll have to pick one and if it’s warm then it’s his, I said, helpfully. We both stood and studied the poos. It was like a Saturday night TV show. Now, we could have picked up all three, but I have to say that I have the same aversion to other dogs’ poos as I used to have changing other kids’ nappies. As if knowing what went into the making of that poo makes all the difference. Partner plumped for the middle one. I had already thought it would be the one on the right. It’s warm! He exclaimed. You’d have thought he had won the lottery. A fellow dog walker passed by. We tried to hide our excitement for partner’s win.
Our friends’ Great Dane eats items of clothing, which then get pooed out, washed and back in the airing cupboard on a 24 hour turnaround. I asked if anyone in the house ever objects to this, as I imagined what daughter 2 might say if her Jack Wills’ pants went through this cycle on a regular basis. What they don’t know, won’t hurt them, she said with a smile. Yes, I thought. That’s exactly what went through my mind when dog 1 swallowed daughter 1’s earring and threw it up an hour later. She’ll never know.