On those rare occasions that I have a millisecond to dream, usually in the toilet, I find myself sometimes wondering whether there will ever be a day in my life when I have got everything done. Not just the thing at the top of the list, but I mean everything. Then I wonder how empty it must feel to have done everything, as I reach for the loo roll and see that, yet again, no one has bothered to change it, despite notices above every loo roll holder in the house: Changing the toilet roll will not cause brain damage. Back to reality – there is always something, a million things, to do.
Every now and again, ever so occasionally, a smug feeling will come across me in a wave – a feeling that I have accomplished just enough that day so far to warrant feeling a teeny bit smug and then, wham! One damn buzz in my pocket and my feeling of smugness is crushed, as the never ending stream of school e mails continues on a pace.
Just like every other parent, by the time the kids have left for school, I’m frazzled and quite often wound up like an elastic band on a merry go round – ready to unravel and ping in a random direction at high speed, but with certainty. By the time I’ve done the dog walk I feel like I’ve been going for hours and by the time I flop down outside Waitrose with my free coffee (sorry Tunbridge Wells), I am gasping for that hit. So it was with much amusement that I listened to Psychologist friend in exactly the same state as myself, when she rocked up at Waitrose cafe yesterday, launching into a tirade about her number 3 son’s complete lack of co-operation and total melt down that morning. And the worst thing about it, she said, revving up for the finale, is that I bet his teacher is thinking: we’ll never ask her to come in and talk to the children about her job. If she can’t manage him, what hope is there for the rest of us mere amateurs.