Dear Parent God…

Dear Parent God,

Please forgive me for lying to my children about the fajhita mix that was in the cupboard on Friday night, because I couldn’t be bothered to use it, so they had pizza,

Please bless the fact that I gave them broccoli with their pizza.

Please forgive me for hindering my child’s creativity, by regularly asking her to stop singing because it gives me a headache,

Please bless the fact that I do run her to her singing lessons every week.

Please forgive me for not always giving my full attention when I am asked a question about their homework and for discovering that I not only have zero patience, but zero ability on most topics,

Please bless the fact that their big sister helps them when I ask her to.

Please forgive me for quite often wanting to throttle my children,

Please bless me for making do with shouting at them, loudly, instead.

Please forgive me for groaning when the kids ask me to play Monopoly,

Please bless me for giving it a shot.

Please forgive me for not separating lights and darks washing and turning daughter 2’s white jeans grey,

Please bless me for doing at least a load of washing a day, getting it dry and distributed back to the correct person within 48 hours.

Please forgive me for not wanting to watch another gym show in the sitting room,

Please bless me for watching it anyway.

Please forgive me for sometimes finding the gap between cup of tea time and glass of wine time, too long,

Please bless me that I don’t drink gin for breakfast.

Parent God, I ask all of this in the name of guilt ridden parents everywhere,

AMEN