Twat

Best tweet I’ve seen this week:
“I see Kim has got her twat out…no not Kayne, the other one.”

Kim

Kim and her ‘post baby’ bod, taken pre-pregnancy, no doubt. We all have to make ourselves feel better after we’ve had a baby. For some, it’s taking comments from husband, mum, checkout assistant, like: you’re doing well losing your baby weight. For others it’s booking a personal trainer, while your boobs are still tellingly leaking milk through the lycra. For most of the sane minded mums it’s: I’ve just given birth so fuck off and leave me alone with your talk of diets and the gym. Pass me the cake. For Kim, it’s: look at me! Look at me! Adore ME, love ME. I’m sick of the sodding baby getting all the attention. 

To be honest, if you lean forwards, naked, in front of your bedroom mirror. Push your boobs subtly together, take your legs slightly apart, push your bum out and suck in, you too can create that desperate ‘look at me’ image. A little touch to your hair and a flick of the head will finish it off. But don’t try this at home, as you run the risk of your kids walking in and thinking mummy’s now completely lost the plot and husband walking in and thinking it’s his birthday. 

I don’t know about you, but I find that I am happy with my tummy when I am lying down and happy with my boobs when I am standing up – but not happy with both in either position. 

Well, they say you can’t have it all in life. So I’ll take my bod standing up or lying down and do the best I can with it, depending on my mood. One thing is for sure, I’d rather support Donald Trump’s presidency campaign, than get my twat out on Twitter. 

24 thoughts on “Twat”

  1. Great post. It really cheered me up today. It is nice to read anything on any form of media that isn’t about the Leave victory. I loved the Twat vs Trump comment at the end. Pen x #KCACOLS

  2. Love your perspective! I almost didn’t click on your post because I can’t stand the narcissism Kim K brings to the world, but so happy I did! 🙂 funny post!! #KCACOLS

  3. I don’t really get the naked photos on SM by anyone but I’m old and I understand the way people view things is different. I will give Kim points for her tweets on gun control…that’s about all I cn offer on this…(cos I don’t really understand why people want naked photos of themselves all over the net, but they seem to…Mind you, I also don’t really get that people now take more selfies than they do of their partner or anyone else, so that evolutionary wheel has turned too)

    1. I totally agree. Why would anyone want to get naked for tons of people? Selfie culture has gone mad. We live in a very narcissistic society. Thank you for commenting.

  4. haha! we’ve got what we’ve got and so best to just be happy with it and get on with life lol – Kim Kardashians photo did not make me envy her, it made me laugh in its desperate attempt to get people talking! It might sound like Im being bitter but Im really not (I give credit to anyone who is successful, maybe not for the reasons they are successful but success is still success right?!) Im just hoping my girls don’t see these shameless photos and think its cool! lol – funny post! #kcacols

    1. Desperate is the word – totally agree. Dreadful. I hope my girls laugh at it. They seem to just ignore it, but actually it’s really sad I think. Success is addictive I’m sure and the lengths people go to be ‘successful’ – I think they lose perspective of what’s normal!

  5. Trump v Twat – the great debate! Ha ha! I look like Homer Simpson when Im laid down, currently dieting for the summer body I’ll never get but I’m trying. Kim K is a turd and needs to get off the internet. A hilarious post! #KCACOLS

  6. I can’t believe I haven’t seen this tweet around. I think I’m completely lost of the news since I starting blogging lol. I used to be the first in line to know all the gossips. Why in earth is now Kim tweeting this photo? What is the goal, purpose, aim of it? And the text she put on it? I was like WTF? What is going on with these people! Love your comment about the Twat vs Trump! Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. I’m so happy to have you for the first time. I hope that you like it and that you join us again, 🙂 x

    1. I really appreciate your comments. I love your questioning…exactly – WHY THE FUCK? I’m so happy to be here. A great linky 🙂

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