My 90 year old Scottish Nanna and I used to watch Billy Connolly together. She absolutely loved his humour, but hated his liberal use of the F-word. An article in the Times this week stated that swear words no longer pack the punch they used to and that the F-word is no longer the Class A swear word it used to be.
It’s interesting the way different families approach swearing and the house rules they have surrounding it. When I was growing up, my parents didn’t swear and consequently I would never have dared swear in front of them. Even when I swore with my friends as a teenager, I would feel a little guilty at the thought of what my parents would say if they were to hear me. When I had left home, however, the odd mild swear word started creeping into my Mum’s vocabulary and it sounded quite shocking to me. This did coincide with my Dad divorcing her, so that probably had a lot to do with the need to use the odd, ‘bloody’ here and there, usually followed by ‘man’ in her case.
Listening to radio 4 a while back (much to daughters’ disgust), woman’s hour was discussing the use of swear words in the home and they had a mum from both camps in the studio: one who swears liberally in front of her kids and one who doesn’t. It made me reflect on my views. When the girls were younger, I never swore in front of them, I would just get Tourettes when they had gone to bed. It was as if I had been saving up all the frustrations of the day and the best way to express them was though swearing. You’ve got to admit, there’s nothing like a few choice swear words to really get things off your chest. “Fuck off!’ just packs a far bigger punch than, ‘go away!’.
Now the girls are older, I don’t allow them to swear in the house, but I do find myself using the odd mild expletive in front of them. When they are at school, my language is far more flowery, but I am sometimes caught out when I forget that one of them is off school sick and I have to shout a sheepish, ‘sorry’ up the stairs.
When I was at my Mum’s last week, she told me off for the use of the F-word in my blogs. I reminded her of how her mum used to tell Billy Connolly off by wagging her finger at the telly. When my daughters read my blogs out loud, as they sometimes do, they won’t say the swear words and they say, ‘muuum’ and give me a disapproving look. Yeah, I think to myself, as if YOU don’t swear!
The other thing about swearing, is that I think it sounds worse coming from the mouth of someone else, than it sounds coming from your own. When I hear friend’s swear in front of their kids it can sometimes make me cringe and that’s when I really start to examine where my principles lie. I do know that I need the word, ‘fuck’ in my life. I could not live if, ‘bloody hell’ was banned from our vocabulary. ‘Shit’ is a no-brainer, as is ‘bollocks’ and surely no-one can get through the day without a few, ‘oh buggers’ here and there. One word I NEVER say is the C-word. So you see, I do have some principles, Mum 🙂
I would love to get your thoughts on this subject. Please let me know what side of the fence you are sitting on. Hopefully not on it, as that would really fucking hurt!
I’ll leave you with a swear word that partner and I have made up and though I say it myself, it is pure genius. It can be played around with like a word game and used in a multitude of situations. Just not in front of our kids:
Buggeryfucknuts
Nuttybugfucks
Fuckingbugnuts
Fuckerybugnuts
Nutteryfuckbugs
Fuckingbuggerynuts….
Keep playing for excellent stress relief 🙂
oh Im such a potty mouth, its awful!! I grew up in a house that wasn’t overly ‘sweary’ but the odd ‘f’ word was thrown in.. but nothing like how I swear!! honestly, I can make myself cringe sometimes (which should make me change but doesn’t lol) I cannot help myself.. the husband wasn’t much of a swearer when we met but he has a very loose tongue these days too, probably because of me. I know my teen must swear (they all do occasionally right) but never in my presence, though I have caught her telling the preteen she’s a ‘bitch’ and while I will tell her not to talk to her sister like that, how can I really lose my shit when I know she gets it from me?! (the swearing not the calling the preteen a bitch!) the preteen thinks swearing is horrific (Im actually not sure she’s mine haha) and she once said “shit” instead of “chips” (?!) and practically cried herself to sleep lol – I do know I could do better, yet I don’t.. god, I sound awful!! mental note made to “try harder” 🙂 #bigpinklink
I love this comment! I’ve got worse. Then when my mum still tells me off I feel bad. Then I tell myself to get a grip, because I’m 45 years old and can swear if I want to! I think it’s funny that your tween doesn’t like swearing – good on her (I wonder how long that will last!) Thank you for commenting.
Oh this is brilliant – we are quite relaxed about language in this house but will only use it humour situations and never in anger – if the girls swear when being funny that’s acceptable but I’d never allow it if it was used vehemently – interesting read though – and your list of stress busters are inspired fuckingbuggerynuts! #BigPinkLink
That’s a good point about allowing to use it in humour but not in anger. Thanks for commenting. Btw, my teens watched your vlog and really liked it 🙂
Hahaha I love the swear words you created!I was never allowed to swear when I was living with my parents, they would have gone mad. Even though I hear them say the odd ‘shit’ or ‘bollocks’ now I would still not feel comfortable saying it in front of them. When I’m chatting to my friebds/husband though it is a completely different story, although I will never say the c word either. I think I will be more relaxed when my kids are teens and as long as they’re saying it jokingly and not to be hurtful then I think I’ll be fine with that. Fab post xx #bigpinklink
I’m definitely more relaxed now, but the girls don’t really swear in front of me. As you say, jokingly is very different to a swear word said in anger. Thanks for your comments x
Hahaha…loved the swear words you made up. So as you can tell, I do swear but only if I am really upset or angry, especially while driving, so that’s not very often (can you tell I’m lying?). I usually assess the situation and see if it’s appropriate to swear or not. Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink
Swearing when driving is definitely a no-brainer! Thanks for commenting 🙂
Ha ha love the game at the end – my husband play stupid games like that together in the evening when the kids are asleep. I think for us we try to limit swearing in front of the kids, the occasional one slips out. But then in the evening its like we have swallowed a dictionary that only contains swear words and we have to get them all out! #bigpinklink
Exactly…and then you realise one of them has come downstairs for a drink of water . Thank you for commenting.