Transgender – how much do we understand?

 

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Eighty state schools, including 40 primary schools in England are now allowing boys to wear skirts and girls to wear trousers. Crikey, this is going to be interesting. I’m all for equality and ‘transgender’ certainly seems to be a buzz word at the moment, but I wonder how the reality will pan out.

Daughter 3 never wore a skirt to primary school. She even refused to go to the same school as her sisters because they didn’t allow girls to wear trousers. She was, what people might call a ‘tomboy’. I too was a tomboy. Until the age of 13 I never wore a skirt or dress outside school. In fact, I was always being told by women in the ladies toilet that, ‘the men’s is next door’. Neither my daughter, nor I are transgender, we just preferred wearing trousers. So for us, the new ‘gender neutral’ uniform policy would be welcome and neither of us ever encountered an adverse reaction from others.
I am just wondering how welcoming people are going to be to boys in skirts. On paper, it all makes perfect sense. Pupils as young as five can dress in the uniform which they feel most comfortable in. In reality, I can’t help but feel that other children will not know how to react and this could result in bullying. Let’s face it, it doesn’t take much to set a bully off. That’s certainly not to say that we should all conform to the bully’s view on the world, but I think that if a school introduces a transgender uniform policy then all the issues surrounding the topic are going to have to be explored at length with children from as young as five.
I feel that this is a huge step in a new direction for all of us: parents, teachers, schools. As parents we have quite a struggle with the dreaded question: where do babies come from? Cue mumbling about seeds and belly buttons. Now I feel we are going to be faced with questions from children that I as a parent, don’t necessarily feel equipped to answer. I did see a documentary on transgender children a while back and have listened to a couple of programmes on the radio. All of which I found really interesting and they made me understand the difficulties parents of transgender children face and of course, the huge turmoil the children themselves are having to deal with. However, I certainly don’t feel in any way equipped by my minutiae of knowledge on the subject, to deal with questions that may come my way, when a five year old comes home from school saying: David is wearing a skirt to school mummy, why?
But this is now a question that as parents we must be prepared to answer and to talk about. I think that in the current climate of change, where transgender is being more widely recognised and accommodated, with unisex toilets being introduced in some schools, for example, we need to think about and explore our own feelings on the subject. I’ll be honest with you, I feel very uncomfortable about unisex toilets in schools.
In the articles I have read, they talk about: things you should not say to a transgender child. It is a relatively new subject to most of us and our children and we must all be informed, so as not to offend. In order to prevent transphobia, as a nation we need to be educated.
Any change will take a while to assimilate. The first boys who wear skirts to school may have to contend with an adverse reaction, in a way that neither I, nor my daughter had to face when we wore trousers. However, if the other children, teachers and parents are given sufficient information and support about why that child is wearing a skirt, one would hope that in time, it will be as acceptable for a boy to wear a skirt as it is for girls to wear trousers. I am really interested to see how tolerant, accommodating and sensitive we can all be.

8 thoughts on “Transgender – how much do we understand?”

  1. I’m going to sound like a Tory… which is not a good thing but isn’t uniform about making sure that children look the same? It’s not about sexuality. What I wore when playing with nanny as a child wasn’t important when I was at school. If I was a transgender boy (to girl) would I have to wear a skirt? To be honest, not only would it have been too much to share, it would have been too much to bear.
    Sure, teach kids to honour differences but …. time and a place.
    The alternative is that we have a non-gender specific uniform. That might work.
    Sometimes I think we worry to much. If kids have gender issues, they can surely deal with them via appropriate help and support in and out of school. But let’s face it, you’re going to get the piss taken out of you by your peer group. It’s what kids do.
    Perhaps I’m a dinosaur

    1. I can see your point about uniform making sure children look the same. I think that all the issues surrounding transgender children and how to accommodate them in schools is only just emerging and developing, so strategies are at a development stage too. I think that it will be very interesting to see how things progress. I think that education is key to our and our kids’ understanding of transgender and to universal acceptance.

  2. I think it’s a fluid process, as more and more transgendered people are slowly gathering up the courage to start acting themselves. It also really seems that the younger you are, the more accepting of this sort of thing you are. I think this next generation is really going to surprise us with how accepting and tolerant they are. At least that’s what I’m hoping #anythinggoes

  3. An interesting topic. I’d like to see them allowing long hair for boys as well. Although I believe hair should be tied back, many schools ban boys for growing hair too long. It’s hard to know where to draw the line, self- expression whether you are a transgender or not, is self- expression. #anythinggoes

  4. I didn’t know about this new rule – how interesting. I think it’s brilliant that transgender is being embraced in this way. I imagine our parents and grandparents generations felt a little illinformed talking about being gay but look how natural and easy those conversations come to us now? I imagine that with some time the same will be said about transgender. I too worry about the bullying aspect though I must admit. Thanks for the thought-provoking post! X #anythinggoes

    1. I agree. I think our kids will take it all in their stride. Unfortunately, if a kid wants to bully, they will find something to latch on to. It will be interesting to see how things develop in this relatively new area. Thank you so much for your comments.

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