Further to my post: The Voice of Experience
I thought that I would share with you things that I have learnt about teenagers and their phones. This is:
The Voice of Experience Talks Smartphones
Don’t be fooled into thinking that when your child has a phone, you will be able to keep track/get hold of them. I have 4 children, all with phones and regularly ring all 4 and no-one answers. Is it a conspiracy?
Don’t get a contract without being very sure that there is a cut off to spending. However much you trust your angel and with the best will in the world, they click on an app that costs a shed load of money, that they don’t have a hope in hell of ever paying off and so you have to. I don’t let the girls have contracts. Ever.
You will get totally and utterly confused with top ups – especially if you have more than 1 child. They will all be topping up on a different day and on different networks. They will run out of credit a week before this day. They will then try and tell you that you topped them up a month ago. They are lying.
If you bought the phone for your child to be safe, bear in mind the above. No credit = back to the olden days pre-mobiles, when we were all at the mercy of paedophiles at every turn. Or, just relax until teatime, when they are sure to appear.
If you buy a phone from the internet for your child, be aware that if it is reconditioned it could be full of porn. This happened to number 1 friend. She sent the phone back after a couple of days…
Teenagers lose things. Teenagers lose their phones. This causes 2 things to happen: firstly a complete and utter meltdown of proportions you have never previously witnessed and secondly a bill for someone. Make sure that bill is theirs, to teach them responsibility. At least you may get your toilets cleaned for a year.
You will frequently be sharing your house with extras – Facetime extras. This creates more noise and just don’t enter their bedroom naked – I have had 1 or 2 close encounters with this one…or rather, their facetime friends have.
Expect the phone to be used for selfies. These selfies will also include you – probably when you are looking at your most shit and they will stick a pair of dog’s ears and a nose on you, then refuse to delete it until you up their pocket money.
Dog Mum and dog 2
You will take a photo of them, it will be heavily scrutinized and then they will refuse to let you keep it. Your only revenge is to photobomb their selfies.
They will take photos of inanimate objects for the purposes of keeping a streak going. Do not question why they are taking a photo of their bedside table – you will be ridiculed, when you thought it would be the other way around.
Daughter 4’s note to daughter 1 when she went away with the school – no mobile phones allowed
Expect to find them on their phone first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Unless you take it away from them an hour before bedtime, just as all the experts agree you should. In which case just expect an ongoing battle, in which part of their argument will contain the phrase: but I’m only listening to my music…Ha, yeah…just like I never read your texts.
They will constantly be on the hunt for your/aunt’s/uncle’s/friend’s/neighbour’s upgrade. They have no shame. They will ask the checkout assistant in Waitrose if they have to.
Everyone has a better phone than them. Woe betide if you have a better phone than them. When their granny has a better phone than them there is total humour failure, until the situation is rectified (either they have a birthday, or granny dies).
Are you the voice of experience? If so, join in – please add. If you are a very old person, who just wants to moan about how much time we are all spending on our smartphones these day, then please feck off!
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