The Voice of Experience Talks Smartphones

Further to my post: The Voice of Experience

The Voice of Experience

I thought that I would share with you things that I have learnt about teenagers and their phones. This is:

The Voice of Experience Talks Smartphones

Don’t be fooled into thinking that when your child has a phone, you will be able to keep track/get hold of them. I have 4 children, all with phones and regularly ring all 4 and no-one answers. Is it a conspiracy?

Don’t get a contract without being very sure that there is a cut off to spending. However much you trust your angel and with the best will in the world, they click on an app that costs a shed load of money, that they don’t have a hope in hell of ever paying off and so you have to. I don’t let the girls have contracts. Ever.

You will get totally and utterly confused with top ups – especially if you have more than 1 child. They will all be topping up on a different day and on different networks. They will run out of credit a week before this day. They will then try and tell you that you topped them up a month ago. They are lying.

If you bought the phone for your child to be safe, bear in mind the above. No credit = back to the olden days pre-mobiles, when we were all at the mercy of paedophiles at every turn. Or, just relax until teatime, when they are sure to appear.

If you buy a phone from the internet for your child, be aware that if it is reconditioned it could be full of porn. This happened to number 1 friend. She sent the phone back after a couple of days…

Teenagers lose things. Teenagers lose their phones. This causes 2 things to happen: firstly a complete and utter meltdown of proportions you have never previously witnessed and secondly a bill for someone. Make sure that bill is theirs, to teach them responsibility. At least you may get your toilets cleaned for a year.

You will frequently be sharing your house with extras – Facetime extras. This creates more noise and just don’t enter their bedroom naked – I have had 1 or 2 close encounters with this one…or rather, their facetime friends have.

Expect the phone to be used for selfies. These selfies will also include you – probably when you are looking at your most shit and they will stick a pair of dog’s ears and a nose on you, then refuse to delete it until you up their pocket money.

image1Dog Mum and dog 2

You will take a photo of them, it will be heavily scrutinized and then they will refuse to let you keep it. Your only revenge is to photobomb their selfies.


They will take photos of inanimate objects for the purposes of keeping a streak going. Do not question why they are taking a photo of their bedside table – you will be ridiculed, when you thought it would be the other way around.

FullSizeRender(1) copy 3Daughter 4’s note to daughter 1 when she went away with the school – no mobile phones allowed

Expect to find them on their phone first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Unless you take it away from them an hour before bedtime, just as all the experts agree you should. In which case just expect an ongoing battle, in which part of their argument will contain the phrase: but I’m only listening to my music…Ha, yeah…just like I never read your texts.

They will constantly be on the hunt for your/aunt’s/uncle’s/friend’s/neighbour’s upgrade. They have no shame. They will ask the checkout assistant in Waitrose if they have to.

Everyone has a better phone than them. Woe betide if you have a better phone than them. When their granny has a better phone than them there is total humour failure, until the situation is rectified (either they have a birthday, or granny dies).

Are you the voice of experience? If so, join in – please add. If you are a very old person, who just wants to moan about how much time we are all spending on our smartphones these day, then please feck off!

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20 thoughts on “The Voice of Experience Talks Smartphones”

  1. Oh no – I have this all ahead of me! My oldest is 9 & there’s no phone for her for a long time although he’d love to have one! The selfie of you for blackmail purposes is just fab!! #momsterlink

  2. I’m quite glad that my two are still far too little to have smartphones but my nieces are permanently glued to theirs – and yes, having a smartphone is not an indication that you’ll ever be able to actually get hold of someone! Love the photo of you with the dog ears! πŸ™‚

  3. Never expect them to ever put id down again once it hits their mitts. Thats the biggest thing that I learned. And if you make them put it down expect a response similar to if you ad just chopped off their hand! #momsterlink

  4. To the mom with the teenagers:

    I have 4 daughters and I son. My eldest daughter is 9 and already wants a smart phone. I am trying my best to deny this request but to be honest she is wearing me down. After reading this I want to get her a cell phone….NEVER! Thank you!


    A mom of young children

      1. I have four daughters too! It is definitely a game changer. It suddenly throws you into the lion’s den of everything the phones are capable of and trying to keep on it is so hard. However equally it’s all inevitable. Thank you for commenting.

  5. Oh noooo….!! This is hilarious, but I know also very true!!! I didn’t get a mobile till I was 18, and that was a crappy one obvs, with no internet/apps etc!! And I’ve only developed a phone addiction myself since starting a blog-I didn’t have internet on my phone till a year ago!! I just can’t imagine my children being on a phone all the time, but I know it’s coming… I love the note your daughter left-that must’ve been hell for those kids, with no phones allowed??!

    1. Yes and it’s not just the fact that they are on them the whole time – they are pouting at them all the time. It’s funny and tragic in equal measure. I never imagined my kids would be like this and yet now it seems normal – scary! Thank you for commenting.

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  7. Smartphones…touchy subject with me as my hubby let our 12 yo have one (then 11) last Xmas WITHOUT consulting me. I almost passed out. I really do hate kids having phones as I genuinely don’t get why they need them(. Don’t be surprised if I turn up on your doorstep sobbing with frustration next year when she’s moved from preteen to actual teen and is totally glued to her phone.) Oh and erm…how do I put this…this could be mainly because I AM an old person who just wants to moan about how everyone’s spending too much time on their phones… Does this mean I’m never being allowed back on your site? πŸ™‚ #NoLinkyJustLoveYourBlog

    1. Ha! No, come back, come back! I would have been furious with my partner if he’d done that. It’s strange, because when you are surrounded by the kids on them, you start to become slightly immune to it. When step daughter had hers it used to annoy me a bit – especially all the selfies she was taking. Tbh I thought it was weird. Now that I have 4 more on them all the time, I think I notice a bit less. However, I still can’t believe how often they are taking selfies, but it’s for Snapchat, so it’s easy come, easy go. A whole different culture! Thank you for commenting…and did I say ‘please come back’?!

  8. There are some days that technology is just a real pisser! Yes we want our kids to have them for the convenience of us getting ahold of them or them us in case of an emergency but that is never the case. It’s a constant battle in this house. Once of which ended up with our oldest moving to live with his biological mother. I am thankful that as of right now it’s only one of our 4 kids at home that have one of the damn things and his data is set to a limit that he can’t exceed no matter how much he begs for more and we have also set it up to where he can’t buy anything without a passcode and if he were to figure it out and do that then his cell phone would be obsolete. We also thankfully live in a small town where yes bad people still exist but we trust in the fact that he is old enough not to get in a car with a stranger to get candy or pet their dog. Thanks for linking up with #momsterslink and I must apologize for my delay in commenting as this summer has been an extremely busy one for me and well…my linky life is always about trying to catch up. Hope to see you this Thurs-Sun for a new round.

    1. I admire you linky hosts. It seems like a HUGE job to me, so no worries about playing catch-up. I really appreciate your comments. When you’ve got lots of kids, like us, of course the problem is multiplied. I just get SO confused with the top ups etc. It can get really stressful! There’s certainly no getting away from them though! I hope the rest of your summer calms down!

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