Drunken Selfies

No wonder teenage girls are so bloody cranky all the time:

“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I’m not even looking at you!”
“Oh my god, everyone is just so annoying looking at me all the time.”

You know, that kind of thing.

It’s because their lives are so stressful. No sarcasm intended. Seriously. Keeping up appearances is exhausting and they have to do it 24/7 for ‘likes’. Get it wrong and their world can collapse with one misjudged selfie.

Trust me, I know. A bit tipsy on 2 Euros fizz one afternoon after a day in the sun, I gave selfie-taking a go. I don’t think that I was exactly inspired by my daughters, as most of their selfies seemed to be a series of gurns for Snapchat. However, I was curious. Did I have what it takes to nail a selfie? I’ve never been able to pout, I just have the wrong sort of lips, but pumped on wine I thought I’d give it a go. I locked myself in the toilet, having noted all summer that a great deal of teenage selfies are taken in front of a sink. Plus, there’s the added advantage of no-one seeing you. I snapped away. I felt like a complete twat, but I carried on regardless.

I exited the loo quite pleased with my results. Yes, I felt like a sad old cow who was trying to keep up with her teenage daughters, but I was safe in the knowledge that no-one was ever going to see the photos except me and it was something I wanted to experience. It’s a bit like the shot on the beach or the photo of the sunset, it’s what everyone (teenagers) seemed to be doing on holiday and I wondered what it felt like to do it – to be so self-indulgent.

That night we were sitting outside a café enjoying a drink, when one of my daughters asked if they could look at my phone. Knowing that I never have anything to hide, I passed it over.

“What the hell!” came the first cry.
“Oh-my-god-mum!” came the second.

The cries came fast and furious after that. Yes, they had found my selfies.

At first I tried to front it out.

“They’re not bad, are they? For an old ish person?”
“Mum, they are awful. Why? I mean..what the..?”
“Well, this one’s ok..isn’t it?”
“NO!” (A four part chorus)

They made me promise that I will never, ever lock myself in a toilet alone again. I am on a month’s probation, during which time the toilet door must be kept ajar.

fullsizerender1-copy-7Come on, it’s not that bad…is it?

Post Script:
My daughters are screaming at me not to post the photo, as it is too embarrassing. The whole point of the post is quite clearly lost on them. Yes girls, self-obsession does make others cringe. Blimey, the lengths us parents will go to in order to hammer a point home.

12 thoughts on “Drunken Selfies”

  1. I think it’s a fab selfie – they’re worried that they’ve got competition now for selfie-taking! I’ve got a six month old so I’ve got all this to come Lord knows what kind of teenage obsessions will be around then. Good luck on the blogging awards

    1. Ha – thank you! I’ll tell my daughters that 🙂 Yes, it’s funny to think that by the time your little one is a teen, things will have changed once more. 13 years is a long time. Thank you so much for all your lovely comments.

    1. It certainly is! That’s why teenagers take literally hundreds and then agonise over which one to post on Instagram and when I say agonise, I really mean it!

    1. My daughters are literally mortified that I have posted this! My revenge from having to watch them pull silly faces at their phones for the entire holiday 🙂

  2. I think it is a great picture. I have given up with selfies, I was just not meant to do them. I take much better pictures of others than I do myself. My son has shown me 100’s of times how to do it, but I always end up with a look on my face that makes me look odd lol x

    1. My daughters were laughing at some selfies their Dad had taken with his girlfriend. My eldest daughter said: I find it so funny when old people take selfies because they always get the wrong angle that makes them look egg-shaped! Us ‘oldies’ have a lot to learn it seems!

  3. Hee hee – you look pretty good to me but then I’m awful at taking selfies. Tho’ last weekend my friend gave me a revelatory tip…. use the 3 second time delay to ‘adjust’ yourself….. #fortheloveofBLOG x

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