No wonder teenage girls are so bloody cranky all the time:
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I’m not even looking at you!”
“Oh my god, everyone is just so annoying looking at me all the time.”
You know, that kind of thing.
It’s because their lives are so stressful. No sarcasm intended. Seriously. Keeping up appearances is exhausting and they have to do it 24/7 for ‘likes’. Get it wrong and their world can collapse with one misjudged selfie.
Trust me, I know. A bit tipsy on 2 Euros fizz one afternoon after a day in the sun, I gave selfie-taking a go. I don’t think that I was exactly inspired by my daughters, as most of their selfies seemed to be a series of gurns for Snapchat. However, I was curious. Did I have what it takes to nail a selfie? I’ve never been able to pout, I just have the wrong sort of lips, but pumped on wine I thought I’d give it a go. I locked myself in the toilet, having noted all summer that a great deal of teenage selfies are taken in front of a sink. Plus, there’s the added advantage of no-one seeing you. I snapped away. I felt like a complete twat, but I carried on regardless.
I exited the loo quite pleased with my results. Yes, I felt like a sad old cow who was trying to keep up with her teenage daughters, but I was safe in the knowledge that no-one was ever going to see the photos except me and it was something I wanted to experience. It’s a bit like the shot on the beach or the photo of the sunset, it’s what everyone (teenagers) seemed to be doing on holiday and I wondered what it felt like to do it – to be so self-indulgent.
That night we were sitting outside a café enjoying a drink, when one of my daughters asked if they could look at my phone. Knowing that I never have anything to hide, I passed it over.
“What the hell!” came the first cry.
“Oh-my-god-mum!” came the second.
The cries came fast and furious after that. Yes, they had found my selfies.
At first I tried to front it out.
“They’re not bad, are they? For an old ish person?”
“Mum, they are awful. Why? I mean..what the..?”
“Well, this one’s ok..isn’t it?”
“NO!” (A four part chorus)
They made me promise that I will never, ever lock myself in a toilet alone again. I am on a month’s probation, during which time the toilet door must be kept ajar.
Come on, it’s not that bad…is it?
My daughters are screaming at me not to post the photo, as it is too embarrassing. The whole point of the post is quite clearly lost on them. Yes girls, self-obsession does make others cringe. Blimey, the lengths us parents will go to in order to hammer a point home.
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