Dear Daughters,
Don’t worry, this isn’t one of those schmoozy letters, where I tell you how beautiful you all are – apparently that would damage you for life, as it would eat away at your self esteem (and anyway, you already know you are). No, this is just me wanting to tell you what I really love about you. Because let’s be honest, we have to deal with a lot of crap on a daily basis – some yours, some mine and I really don’t want the good times to get buried. So here is a celebration of what I love.
I love it when I can lean on you – not emotionally – you have enough of your own stuff to deal with – I mean physically lean on you. Drape my arm casually around you and lean in close. It’s more subtle than a hug and I love it when you don’t pull away and even more when you rest your head on my shoulder.
I love it when you say, ‘oh mum’ in a tone of pity drenched in love, when I don’t understand something in your world. Or when you say: I haven’t given you a hug in ages and you wrap your arms around me tight. Or when one who doesn’t often hug me, does.
I love it when you help each other with your homework, because I can’t and when you bake together. In fact, I love it when you do anything together that doesn’t involve a fight. Walking into your bedrooms and seeing you lying together on the bed, laughing unselfconsciously as sisters do, makes me smile.
I love it when we walk the dogs. It isn’t often that you can, because you’re in bed, in school, at work. But this makes when you can, a real joy. We talk with uncluttered abandon. We put the world to rights. We discover things about each other we didn’t know.
I love it when another package arrives from far flung China. You are usually at school and as I place it on your bed in your full view when you walk in, I can feel your excitement. I text you to tell you it’s arrived, because you’ve been asking when it will for days and I want to be a part of your pleasure. I love that you have worked hard to pay for it yourself and that you are really good at your work and people appreciate you. This is your well-earned reward.
I love it when, during a busy day I can text you and ask if you want to cook. I admire your confidence in creating meals for a big family and your willingness to do it. I value your independence, so I am not constantly at your beck and call. You respect, sometimes, that I too have a life and you appreciate it when I sacrifice a part of it for you.
I love it when I am going out and I can ask you, with all the uncertainty of middle age, if I look ok and you reply with all the certainty of someone who knows that I have made an effort to dress up, that I do. I listen to your arguments between each other over clothes with a mixture of irritation and fondness. I find it endearing the way you share and annoying, but understandable, the way you fight.
You are 4 individuals who are changing and growing. I admire your strength and your resilience to the world that you find yourselves in. It’s your world for the taking. Just know that you are loved.
Mum xxxxxxxx
lovely. makes me look forward to my daughter being a teenager (rather than dread it as ppl tell me I should) #stayclassymama
You’ve got through the toddler stage – same, same, but different! You’ll be fine 🙂
Love this! And the fact it isn’t mushy!! 🙂
Ha, thank you! I don’t do mush 🙂
Great post! It made me look forward to my daughter growing up (she’s 6 now); which is a good thing because I am dreading her growing up. Haha. #StayClassyMama
Thank you. Don’t dread it – you will find that you enjoy every stage for very different reasons. I was asked recently by another blogger, Helen at Just Saying Mum, to write my definition of Motherhood and I said: watching them grow up. I love seeing their characters develop and comparing them to when they were younger – so many of their traits were there from day 1! It’s fascinating. Thank you for commenting.
This is amazing, but I will never be ready for Little R to be this old, ever. I don’t know how I would cope! #coolmamaclub
Luckily, it’s gradual 🙂 You will be fine x
I loved readung this my mum shared it to my wall… we’re not at that bad haha! you reap what you sow mummies xx
That’s very true – wise words. Thank you x
This moved me-as do all your posts because you always write from the heart-your daughters are all smart, caring and beautiful women-absolute testament to you as a parent. This will be a post you and they will always reflect on. That’s the beauty of blogging huh x
What a really lovely comment – thank you x
“In fact, I love it when you do anything together that doesn’t involve a fight.” Oh God I can relate to this one even though mine are only 5 and 8! 🙂 What a gorgeous post – have they read it? I’m dreading the teenage years but this has given me hope that it’s not ALL door-slamming and mood-swings 🙂 #BrillBlogPosts
They have read it and said they liked it – although complained about the photo, of course!
Aww… ha ha typical! It’s lovely x
Thank you x
Beautiful post. The world of sisters is one of its kind (I grew up with two sisters as a middle child) and a wonderful world in which to live despite the occasional quarrels. I could visualize your life with your daughters in your letter. Mine is only 7 months and I sometimes feel sad that she does not have a sister (she has a brother and that is beautiful too) to share that special world with. #stayclassymama
Thank you for your lovely comments. I too grew up in the middle of three girls. I loved it – the quarrels gave me a foundation for dealing with real life!
To my dear sister (you caused ALL the quarrels!) Here is my contribution.
I love it when….
…I’ve been away with work, consumed in a different world from which I re emerge feeling every ounce of bad mother guilt possible. I put the key in the lock and you are in the kitchen cooking you and I risitto. The twins are fed and watching tv, a batch of scones bakes in the oven (including raisin-less ones for me.) No one runs to me, I’m barely acknowledged. The guilt is replaced with floods of relief. Inside I’m bursting with pride that you do so well in my absence. I joke that I’m not needed anymore. You agree and I love you even more for your dry sense of humour.
When I’m home, you live in your bed wearing every fluffy item of sleepwear you (and I) possess. When I’m away and the Meggie machine whirs into action, you are truly incredible. I remind myself that I can only do the job I do because of my teenager ❤️️
This made me well up xxx (It was blatantly YOU who caused all the quarrels. I was pretty much perfect).
Ah man this made me cry! So lovely! I love your blog, it always makes me laugh but this is a really nice and truthful post – theres a lot of love in your family #stayclassymama
What a lovely comment – thank you so much.
Don’t know if it’s because I’m over emotional at the best of times or just premenopausal (or both) but the line about middle age and dressing up to go out. Oh goodness I just lost it; totally teared up. What lucky girls your daughters are. #stayclassymama
Thank you so much you lovely lady x