Is it just me, or are people getting excited about Christmas earlier this year? Yesterday a friend posted a photo on Instagram of Christmas decorations adorning a window, with the words: sorry, not sorry. Today another friend has posted a video of her decorating her tree. It’s November! And not even the end of the month.
I have a theory on this. The world is in a very strange place. Life carries on: the kids have to get to school, we have to get to work and the dust still settles. However, underlying all of this is the knowledge that Brexit is probably/possibly going to fuck up our finances and Trump is going to probably/possibly fuck up everything. Alongside both these matters, you’ve got the constant niggle of Europe becoming frighteningly right wing and the worry that you won’t get your hands on a Hatchimal. In fact, so worried are people about this, a family organisation has issued a letter from Santa that parents can show their kids, telling them that: ‘due to the current climate within the North Pole it has been decided that Hatchimals will no longer be given out as presents.’
So, my theory is that with all this terrible uncertainly bubbling under our everyday lives, we have to grab what we know to be real by the baubles and thrash the life out of it. Christmas is the one thing that is certain right now: we know the dates, we know where the decorations are, basically we know the routine. Even the stresses are reliably inevitable. Choosing presents gives us a clear focus. People are even getting a buzz from: the Elf on the Shelf. I had to Google it – only to find out that they’ve been around since 2005. I have clearly had my head shoved right up my own arse, because I had absolutely no idea what it was until yesterday, via a Facebook post asking whether anyone else finds them creepy. Creepy? We’re living in a world with Donald Trump’s face plastered all over the place. Trust me, that elf on a shelf looks like a choir boy.
My theory also extends to explaining why Ed Balls is still on Strictly, when he is so clearly shit. Not even funny shit, just shit. He’s a known. Completely harmless dressed as a Grinch, there is no way this one is going to steal Christmas.
In times of uncertainty, we need to grab what’s real by the balls. We need to get out our Christmas decorations early and focus on certainties: friends, family and Christmas spirit.