“Have you heard about the dyslexic blogging group? They can only get a following by having sex in a car park”
Partner is going deaf. I basically want my Facebook page to be a blogging site, I’m telling him. Silence. I look up from the computer. Partner has turned the grey of our whites’ wash. A dogging site? He thinks he is repeating, with the voice of someone who thought they knew you, but is now having doubts.
I consult daughter 2 about Facebook etiquette and rules. Do I ask face time friend to become MY friend, I enquire. Sure, why not, daughter 2 replies, nonchalantly. Well, I go on, I don’t want her thinking it’s weird, or worse still seeing me as someone to share her problems with. Daughter 2 looks at me in complete disbelief, its not like that mum, she sighs.
I know they aren’t real friends, but a friend request still makes me feel happy. I’m beginning to wonder if I’m easily pleased. Back in November I saw a specialist about shoulder problems. I have had the problems a year and a half and am getting to the end of my tether. In the first week of January, when I was feeling particularly fat and frumpy, I finally received a copy of the specialist’s report to my GP. It read, ‘your patient, presenting as a slender and muscular 45 year old’… ‘Slender’ and ‘muscular’…words I can only dream about being called at my age. I was in a dreamlike state, I was on cloud nine, I was in heaven. What did the report say about your shoulders? Partner interrupted my moment of ecstasy. Oh, I have absolutely no idea, I replied.
Yes, too easily pleased.