Think of a time recently, because I bet there’s been one, where you have had to face ‘moving on’.
This phrase is so personal to each unique situation it is relating to and it can also be incredibly difficult to achieve. It is, however, so vitally important that we do achieve it: for us, for the people around us and depending on the situation, for the other people who are affected by our ability to do so.
If you are unable to move on, then you are holding on. What you are trying to hold on to may be hugely important to you, but holding on is so often holding you back. Of course, some things are good to hold on to, such as memories, but at some point it is important to face the concept of moving on.
Last week I read a letter in the Times to an agony aunt. It was from a man who had lost his wife to cancer and was struggling emotionally with the thought of starting another relationship. When we read stories like this one, we are all able to understand his dilemma and whilst we sympathise with his difficulty, we would most certainly all be advising him to move on.
When someone feels that they have been wronged in some way, they will often find it particularly hard to move on. Whilst this is understandable, the person who is most affected by this inability, is the person themselves. Bitterness eats away at them and turns them into someone who people may at one time may have sympathised with, but who start to feel frustrated with the person’s resoluteness not to let go of the past. This can be the case in a divorce, where one partner had an affair. Hanging on to hatred for that person is simply stopping them from building a positive and happy life and where children are involved it merely serves to make their lives unnecessarily harder. When moving on requires forgiveness, it can feel incredibly difficult to let go, but ultimately a huge relief from a damaging burden.
I think it’s important to remember that moving on doesn’t necessarily require you to forget, but to release yourself from the chains of the past. The past is gone and holding on to it prevents us from building a positive future.
It can hurt to let go, but sometimes it hurts more to hold on.
oh what a brilliant post with a real poignant message! You are so right – it really does hurt more to hold on. Right what can I be letting go of today?! Great message! #MarvMondays
There’s always something, isn’t there? Even if it’s something nostalgic, that is actually just a dust collector!
You’re so right! We are all guilty of holding on when we should be trying to move on #MarvMondays
We certainly are! Sometimes it takes a friend or someone in our family to point it out to us and gently tell us to let go.
I love this and identify with that saying. When my second son sadly died I was terrified of moving on as I felt that it would mean forgetting. Now I know that moving on simply means taking his memory with us. Lovely post. #mg
Thank you so much for your comments. I cannot imagine losing a child – it must be the hardest thing to move on from, but so true that his memory goes with you x
I get what you mean when you say moving on means different things to different people. We hold on to so many unnecessary things, negative feelings, thoughts.. even holding on to our kids for too long can be so bad for them as well as us. #mg
Yes, it’s a very personal state, but one that we all have to face quite often. Thank you so much for commenting.
there is a tipping point isn’t there. where the imperative to move on outweighs the need to remain put. It is not always easy to do though. #mg
Yes, exactly. I suppose some people feel it in their gut and others sometimes need a friendly nudge from the people around them. Either way, it isn’t easy.
I don’t remember the exact wording, but there is a quote that says something like “the road to happiness can only be travelled by moving forward.” something like that. Great post #anythinggoes
Yes, I’ve heard that one. There are so many good quotes about moving on. Another of my favourites is: even a rock moves on.
Lovely post! It can be so hard to “move on”, but it’s so much better to let go. Thank you for reminding us. I’ve had to let go in the past and sometimes it’s the hardest step to take.
#mg
Thank you for your comments. It can be extremely hard and sometimes scary, but ultimately worth it.
I love this post. It has a good message and you put it across perfectly x
#anythinggoes
Thank you so much x
Such a brilliant post and an important message. Sometimes moving on isn’t erasing a memory, it is unlocking the chains and using the hurt to learn from it and go on with life
#anythinggoes
Thank you. Yes, I think the point about taking memories with us is an important one for us to remember.
Very interesting exploration of the much used phrase – I like the idea of releasing oneself from the chains of the past…. it’s a good way of looking at it. #anythinggoes
Thank you for your comments – much appreciated.
Thank you for writing this. This is very apt for me at the moment with sadly more than one situation! I know I need to just let it go and I will, in time. It’s just getting to that point that can sometimes be the tricky point. Great post. #anythinggoes
Thank you. I think that we all need to be reminded of this by someone at some points in our lives.
What a fantastic post, very fitting to everyone at some point in their life for sure.
Emily – BabiesandBeauty #marvmondays
Thank you so much.
Such a great post with a very powerful message. It’s never easy to move on but something we all must learn to do and deal with in our own ways #Mg
Yes, you are absolutely right – each person’s position is unique, so the way in which we all move on will be unique too. Thank you for commenting.
You said it so well! A good reminder never hurts! Thank you! #MG
Thank you 🙂
Another brilliant post! I just have to say I truly love reading your blog! I agree with this, moving on from pain we are hanging on to is so hard, I know for me I felt like I had to let go of that scared young woman and I felt guilty, I know that probably makes no sense, but it was hard letting go of the old me. I had to forgive myself, or more to the point realise that I had done nothing wrong. When you are abused you feel you did something wrong, well I felt that way, I had to move on from blaming myself and that was hard. Sorry I am blabbing on, but it is a great post! #mg
Not blabbing at all! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. Well done for being able to move on – it is hard and of course, some situations are far harder to move on from than others xx
Such a poinant post. I know someone close to me that is going through these types of motions right now and so reading your post really struck a chord with me. Such a well articulated post. Thanks for sharing it on #MarvMondays. Emily
Thank you so much. It certainly affects us all at many times in our lives, but at no point is it very easy.
I completely agree – we need to look forwards, not backwards, and holding onto negative emotions hurts no one but our selves!
Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
Debbie
Hear, hear! Thank you for your comments x