Move On

Think of a time recently, because I bet there’s been one, where you have had to face ‘moving on’. 

This phrase is so personal to each unique situation it is relating to and it can also be incredibly difficult to achieve. It is, however, so vitally important that we do achieve it: for us, for the people around us and depending on the situation, for the other people who are affected by our ability to do so. 

If you are unable to move on, then you are holding on. What you are trying to hold on to may be hugely important to you, but holding on is so often holding you back. Of course, some things are good to hold on to, such as memories, but at some point it is important to face the concept of moving on. 

Last week I read a letter in the Times to an agony aunt. It was from a man who had lost his wife to cancer and was struggling emotionally with the thought of starting another relationship. When we read stories like this one, we are all able to understand his dilemma and whilst we sympathise with his difficulty, we would most certainly all be advising him to move on. 

When someone feels that they have been wronged in some way, they will often find it particularly hard to move on. Whilst this is understandable, the person who is most affected by this inability, is the person themselves. Bitterness eats away at them and turns them into someone who people may at one time may have sympathised with, but who start to feel frustrated with the person’s resoluteness not to let go of the past. This can be the case in a divorce, where one partner had an affair. Hanging on to hatred for that person is simply stopping them from building a positive and happy life and where children are involved it merely serves to make their lives unnecessarily harder. When moving on requires forgiveness, it can feel incredibly difficult to let go, but ultimately a huge relief from a damaging burden. 

I think it’s important to remember that moving on doesn’t necessarily require you to forget, but to release yourself from the chains of the past. The past is gone and holding on to it prevents us from building a positive future.

It can hurt to let go, but sometimes it hurts more to hold on.

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35 thoughts on “Move On”

    1. We certainly are! Sometimes it takes a friend or someone in our family to point it out to us and gently tell us to let go.

  1. I love this and identify with that saying. When my second son sadly died I was terrified of moving on as I felt that it would mean forgetting. Now I know that moving on simply means taking his memory with us. Lovely post. #mg

    1. Thank you so much for your comments. I cannot imagine losing a child – it must be the hardest thing to move on from, but so true that his memory goes with you x

  2. I get what you mean when you say moving on means different things to different people. We hold on to so many unnecessary things, negative feelings, thoughts.. even holding on to our kids for too long can be so bad for them as well as us. #mg

    1. Yes, exactly. I suppose some people feel it in their gut and others sometimes need a friendly nudge from the people around them. Either way, it isn’t easy.

    1. Yes, I’ve heard that one. There are so many good quotes about moving on. Another of my favourites is: even a rock moves on.

  3. Thank you for writing this. This is very apt for me at the moment with sadly more than one situation! I know I need to just let it go and I will, in time. It’s just getting to that point that can sometimes be the tricky point. Great post. #anythinggoes

    1. Yes, you are absolutely right – each person’s position is unique, so the way in which we all move on will be unique too. Thank you for commenting.

  4. Another brilliant post! I just have to say I truly love reading your blog! I agree with this, moving on from pain we are hanging on to is so hard, I know for me I felt like I had to let go of that scared young woman and I felt guilty, I know that probably makes no sense, but it was hard letting go of the old me. I had to forgive myself, or more to the point realise that I had done nothing wrong. When you are abused you feel you did something wrong, well I felt that way, I had to move on from blaming myself and that was hard. Sorry I am blabbing on, but it is a great post! #mg

    1. Not blabbing at all! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. Well done for being able to move on – it is hard and of course, some situations are far harder to move on from than others xx

  5. Such a poinant post. I know someone close to me that is going through these types of motions right now and so reading your post really struck a chord with me. Such a well articulated post. Thanks for sharing it on #MarvMondays. Emily

  6. I completely agree – we need to look forwards, not backwards, and holding onto negative emotions hurts no one but our selves!
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂

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